Pain and Lactation

Chapter One

 

Vickie looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. Life wasn’t supposed to be perfect, but the one bit of pride she had in her physical appearance—her tits—had disappointed her starting a year ago and continued to disappointed to the day. Yes, she was a touch overweight, and yes her previously jet-black hair had sprouted some grays. Maybe her butt was a bit too big and her thighs were chunkier than she liked. The second worse were the lines slowly developing in her face.

But her tits—her tits!—they had been perfect for most of her life. Larger than average but they still managed to stand up proudly off her chest. They had lasted through two pregnancies and the associated breast feeding. They had lasted as the rest of her body started to fall to the ravages of aging. But for some unknown reason a year ago the twins had given up and started to deflate and sag.

Her dressing gown was open barely keeping her warm after exiting the bath she liked to take after work. Everything was exposed but there was no one around to see. She held the soft bits of flesh up with her hands, putting them back into the position she was so used to, but the moment her hands moved away, they fell and deflated.

“Stop it,” her husband said from the doorway of the bathroom. “They’re perfect, just like you.”

“Fuck you, Bert,” she replied. She used his childhood nickname because it annoyed him. “You aren’t falling apart like I am.”

It was almost the truth. He might have a few lines on his face and some gray at the temples, but it made him look distinguished and oddly sexy.

“You aren’t falling apart, Vix. You’re aging perfectly.”

“My tits look like shit.”

“They look fine.” He walked up behind her and slipped his hands around her breasts, cupping them, and circled his thumbs over her prominent light brown nipples. She shrugged and pushed him away.

“They used to be perfect, now they’re old lady tits.”

“Geez,” he sighed. “We’ve talked about this. We can afford it if you want to go see a plastic surgeon, go get them fixed the way you want.”

Vickie frowned. “You know I’m not going to do that.”

It wasn’t that she was afraid of doctors or surgery, it was that she didn’t see herself as the type of woman to run to a plastic surgeon the moment a hint of aging showed up uninvited. Her perspective on who she was and how she saw herself had come to a clash and she didn’t know how to resolve the issue.

Her husband made a pronouncement. “Then you either need to get over it or ignore it because it isn’t going away.”

Vickie nodded and turned away. It was stupid, she knew. She had a life that was good, nothing was really wrong with it. She was happy.

Mostly.

 

Across town Brenda was completely naked and fixed her eyes on the wall behind her boyfriend. In contrast to her nudity, he had on jeans and a t-shirt. Her fingers were interlaced behind her head and she focused on breathing carefully and slowly. Her upraised arms brought up her breasts, making them even more fetching than normal. She sported naturally dark red hair along with small, pink nipples. Her dark red hair was cut short, barely reaching the nape of her neck, because she hated dealing with the strands in her face.

“What did you do wrong today?” Jason asked her.

“I didn’t have dinner ready like I promised,” Brenda replied.

“So…do you deserve to be punished?”

“Yes.” She blinked back a tear and shuddered once while breathing in. She was afraid.

“Do you want to be punished?”

“No.”

“But your behavior tells me you’re looking forward to a punishment.”

“No it doesn’t!” she quickly contradicted him.

Jason frowned. It was an expression had all the more fierce by his shaved head. “That’s going to be another set,” he told her.

Brenda looked down and bit her bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better.”

“That’s what I’m looking for. Are you ready?”

She nodded and said, “Yes.” It wasn’t a confident yes.

Hanging from his hand was a yard-long piece of sueded leather, the last foot of which was split into four small strands. Jason whirled it a few times and then laid it down sharply across Brenda’s left breast.

She gasped in pain and pulled her hands down from behind her neck in a late attempt to protect her precious skin. A tear slid down the outside of her high cheekbones. She hated that. She hated how quickly and easily she cried at a bit of pain.

“How many was that?” Jason asked.

“One,” Brenda whimpered.

“How many do you get for not having dinner ready?”

“Four.”

“And how many for being impertinent?”

Brenda opened her mouth to answer but realized she didn’t have a number. He had only told her she had another set to do for being mouthy. How many strokes a set entailed was up to her. That was the problem. Too few and he’d add on additional smacks. Too many and he’d let her suffer the full count. “Four,” she finally answered.

Jason nodded. She’d never know if it was too many or just right. “Put your hands back up and keep them there,” he instructed.

She nodded and resumed her position. A casual flick of Jason’s hand shot out the lash and caught the tip of her nipple. Her body reacted; her elbows came forward and she pulled back, but she managed to hold her position and keep her fingers folded together. The pain lanced out from her nipple to heat up her entire chest. “Oh fuck,” she cursed.

“Count?”

“Two,” Brenda moaned.

“Only six more to go.”

More tears started to slide out of her eyes and over her cheeks. She wanted the pain, she desired the pain, but she also wanted it to stop. By the time Jason was done lashing her, Brenda’s mouth was hanging open with uncontrollable sobs while her entire body shook. When he was done with her, Jason kissed her forehead and reached between her legs. She was wet. Sopping wet. It was easy to feel her wetness because she no longer had any pubic hair. Jason insisted she shave it off when they started dating.

“You need to shave,” he reminded her. There was a touch of stubble on her labia.

“I know. I’ll take a bath when you’re done with me.”

He nodded. “Get down on your knees,” he ordered.

Brenda sighed; her anxiety quickly left her body knowing today’s torment was over. Although her tits throbbed with pain from the stripes that crisscrossed them, already she could feel the ache fading away. She unlaced her finger from behind her neck and knelt down. Jason didn’t mind her using her hands now. In fact, he encouraged it.

Gently, almost with reverence, Brenda cupped Jason’s cock and balls in her hands, opened her mouth, and took the plum-shaped cockhead between her lips. He was only semi-hard at this point. He used to get completely hard while whipping her, but that was when they first started playing together. Now her tit torment was just foreplay to him.

In the arena of hair removal Jason was nothing if not equitable. He used to be a competitive swimmer in high school and college, but had mostly let that pass now. However, he had gotten used to removing all body hair before competitions. In the past he had employed shaving, depilatories, waxing, and every other method. Eventually he had resorted to laser hair removal. Permanent and effective. As a result, except for his arms and legs, Jason was almost perfectly hairless.

Brenda liked that. She smooth feel of his testicles’ skin matched the skin of his cock. While holding the base of his shaft and lightly gripping the balls, Brenda titled her head back and opened up her throat, letting as much of his cock penetrate into her mouth and throat as possible. Jason wasn’t huge, and she wasn’t performing some porn star trick, she simply knew that he liked the feeling of his cock completely surrounded by her mouth. Since he was still slightly soft, it was an easy trick to accomplish.

Once that was done, she started the blowjob in earnest, bobbing her head back and forth, sucking as hard as she dared while lightly fondling his balls. Brenda liked giving head. She liked giving pleasure to other people. The best men were always appreciative of her hard work. There wasn’t anything humiliating about being on your knees sucking a man’s cock—she knew some women who would refuse to give head under any circumstances let along on her knees after having her tits whipped—it was an honor to give pleasure to someone you loved.

Jason’s cock quickly and happily responded to her attention. In short order he was so hard and large in her mouth that she was having trouble taking his whole length and compensated by wrapping one hand around the bottom half of his shaft with working the balls with the other. What Jason really loved was when she ran her finger lightly up and down along the line behind his balls and up to his anus. She did that now and felt his balls tighten up to his body and knew the moment was at hand.

The first spurt she took in her mouth, savoring the bitter saltiness of his cum. It was thick and heavy on her tongue. The flavor wasn’t pleasant, but knowing she was doing something that every woman in her family and all her friends would consider disgusting and degrading, made swallowing his semen a pleasure.

For the following spurts Brenda took his cock out of her mouth and continued stroking him as they flew through the air and landed on her cheek and neck. That did absolutely nothing for her, but she knew Jason loved watching it. He had told her many times and when she looked up at him today, his was grinning proudly at her.

“Thank you,” he said when she let go of his cock.

“You’re more than welcome,” she replied as she wiped his cum off her skin and licked her fingers clean.

“Now go clean up and shave.”

With a nod Brenda got off her knees and hurried to the bathroom attached to the bedroom of the apartment she shared with Jason. Outside their home everyone saw her as a strong-willed and independent woman, insider she was happily submissive to her boyfriend. When she was done bathing she would head down to the kitchen and make her boyfriend dinner while in the nude. That was another rule she happily followed: no clothes inside the apartment unless there were visitors.

Outside the apartment she was strong-willed, independent, and forthright. No one told her what to do or how to run her life. Inside the apartment she could let all of that go.

She was happy.

Mostly.

 

 

Chapter Two

 

The Tumblr blog was a borderline porn blog and Vickie knew that, but she couldn’t help looking at it all the time. Rob didn’t know it was one of the many she followed; it mixed it with the wide variety of everything she followed. “Breast is Better” featured topless photos of women who were—supposedly and according to the comments under every picture—unashamed and proud of their breasts. Undoubtedly many of the pictures were submitted by husbands and boyfriends, but they avoided pictures that were obviously lifted from straight out porn websites. The only real rule the blog’s owner had, beyond amateur pictures only, was that the picture had to include the woman’s face. They were all smiling and seemed happy to show off their tits.

And there was a wide variety of tits on display. From tiny to huge, all colors, tan lines and not, pierced and unpierced, inked and plain, nipples of all shades and sizes. There were comments added either by blog’s owner or the submitter, most along the lines of “I used to be ashamed of my breasts, but my husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/you made me realize there’s nothing to be ashamed of—even if I am different.”

Vickie liked looking through the pictures—she found it vaguely arousing—but never saw any pictures of tits nearly as deflated as hers. Maybe it was because the owner weeded them out, maybe it was because no one’s tits were as bad as hers. There were plenty of breasts on display with obvious stretch marks from weight gain. Those women usually claimed the marks were from their breasts growing during breast feeding. But none of those women’s breasts had shrunk up like Vickie’s. Even though the owner would always strikethrough the words stretch marks and insert “tiger stripes”, Vickie was still too ashamed to submit her own picture.

More than once Vickie had locked herself in the bathroom—even when her husband wasn’t home—and took a few practice pictures of her naked breasts. Every picture looked uniformly awful. She did all the usual things to make the pictures look better: wash the mirror, check the angles, and improve the lighting. But nothing she did could make up for the fact that her breasts were just awful.

And the worst part was that back in high school and college and the years before she had children, Vickie had been proud of her tits. They weren’t too small or too big; the nipples were perfectly centered and slightly upturned. More than once she had been the one to suggest skinny dipping with her friends just so she could show off her breasts. She had liked the attention the boys paid to her tits. She was always the one who had suggested going out to the beach at the far end of the state park that was tacitly agreed upon as being the topless beach. The boys were always happy to make the hike to see her naked tits—the girls less so.

So after an early successful career as an exhibitionist, Vickie had retreated to being the woman she had always secretly mocked: always covering up and always using a bra to create the illusion she had a bigger chest than was the case.

It was with great horror, then, that Vickie caught Rob scrolling through the Breast is Better blog on her tablet. She had been getting ready for bed and had tossed the tablet on the bed where he was already reading a book. There was no reason for her to conceal anything from her husband; he was already engrossed in his own work while he waited for her to come back from the bathroom. But there he was, thumbing through her tablet while his own rested on the nightstand next to him.

Her breath caught in her throat which must have been because her heart had jumped up there which naturally made it impossible to breathe. Rob just looked up at, almost casually, and asked her with only the slightest of grins, “Do you like looking at other women’s breasts?”

Swallowing hard, forcing her heart back into place which allowed her to breath normally once again, Vickie gave the best answer she could at the moment. “I’m jealous of them.”

“Why?” Rob glanced back down to the tablet and scrolled through some more pictures.

“They have the tits I used to have.”

“Yours are great. You shouldn’t be jealous.”

“I don’t like them,” she said as she snatched the tablet away from him. He resisted just a moment in order to see the name of the blog, and then released it to her.

“Want me to take your picture so you can submit it?” he asked.

Her answer was immediate. “No.”

“Why not.”

“I’m not like that.”

Rob snorted and picked up his own tablet. “You used to be like that.”

“Like what?” she asked, offended.

“I’m pretty sure you were the one at the head of the pack during the track team’s midnight run.”

Vickie had made it to college partly on her athletic abilities. Part of the tradition at her small college was that all members of the track team would do a lap of the track at midnight before the first meet of the season. There was usually alcohol involved, but Vickie didn’t normally imbibe, so while the rest of the team was stumbling over the cinders, she was leading the pack in the informal race. Four years running.

“That was different,” she protested. “That was back in college before children.”

Rob rolled over and pulled his cell phone from off the nightstand. He pointed it at her. “Take off your top and I’ll even submit it for you.”

“Ha ha. No.” Vickie slipped into bed and pulled the sheets up to her chin.

“Tomorrow then,” he decided.

“No.” Vickie rolled over and turned off the light on her side of the bed.

“I know you want to do this,” Rob told her.

She pretended she was asleep.

What really bothered her was that he was right. She did want to do it. She was just too nervous and too ashamed.

 

“Look at this,” Jason told her showing her a blog that seemed filled with topless women. As porn went it was pretty mild. It fell somewhere between semi-competent college student art and overly earnest casual but sexy shots.

“They’re nice,” Brenda sniffed. It only took a glance for her to determine her breasts were better than what was being offered on the blog.

“You’re submitting your picture,” Jason informed her.

“I am?” Brenda asked, momentarily stunned.

“You are.”

It took a lot to surprise or shock Brenda. She wasn’t world-weary, but she was fairly certain she had seen a lot in her years. “I don’t think I should.”

“Why not?” She wasn’t Jason’s slave. What she did in their place was mutually agreed upon. Either of them could make a suggestion, even though most of the time it was Jason making the suggestions, but she wasn’t forced to play their games. She wanted to. So her answered miffed him. A few pictures of Brenda showing off her breasts should have barely registered with her over the sex games they had played.

“I’m a lawyer with the state,” she reminded him. “I have a certain dignity to maintain.”

Jason frowned. “You’re a low-level functionary with the Department of Transportation, or so you said in your own words.”

“Someone might recognize me and it could cause…problems.”

“We’ll do your hair and makeup,” he told her. Brenda always used simple makeup and a plain hairstyle at work. It made her seem more mature, more dignified. “And this is a tiny blog that women from all over the world submit to. No one is going to recognize you.”

“It’s still a bad idea.”

Jason drew in a breath. “If you were completely anonymous, would you want to do this?” he asked. “Show off your tits to the world?”

Brenda hesitated and then answered. “Yes.”

“We’ll find a way to make it work.”

 

 

Chapter Three

 

Once they started taking the pictures, Vickie relaxed and found herself enjoying posing topless for Robert. It was easy to do because she kept in the forefront of her mind that the pictures were just for him. He put her in a huge variety of poses and she felt a bit ridiculous in some of them, but he enjoyed the photo session so Vickie was happy to give that to him. It was done in their bedroom after Vickie had picked up and cleaned it to her satisfaction. The majority of the pictures were her on the bed, but a few featured her posing around the dresser and windows.

What she didn’t like were the results. In every picture, even the ones where she didn’t have a strange smile or weird eyes, her tits—in her very humble opinion—looked terrible.

“I hate them. I look terrible in all of them,” she declared as they scrolled through the options. “Get rid of them all.”

“This one is the best,” Robert declared. He had a good eye. She was slipping into the bed making her body look just right and her tits the best they’d looked in years. Vickie had to conclude he was right. It was the best of a very weak bunch. Her smile looked genuine and she was happy in the photo not just to have her picture taken, but to be posing for the camera and the man behind it. Her boobs, to use the word she said to Robert, were “adequate.”

“They look great,” he told her.

“They look adequate. No real sag, they aren’t pointing in different directions, no obvious stretch marks, and they’re sufficiently large.” She sighed. “I suppose I can live with it.”

On the blog the women appeared in all manner of dress on their lower half: skirts, jean, and panties of all sorts. Some were obviously cropped hinting that the picture may have been a full nude. The blog’s owner was obviously not a prude and there were plenty of full-on porn blogs on the site, so it was more a matter of aesthetics rather than prurience that kept the blog exclusively naked breasts only. Vickie had opted to pose in a pair of bright green satin panties that were both flattering to her somewhat overly-curvy hips and were sexy enough to appeal to Robert.

Once the photo was chosen he didn’t post it. He sent it from his phone to hers.

“Why’d you do that?”

“You need to submit it,” he told her.

“Why me?” she sulked.

“Because you want to. I know you. You’re afraid and only by facing your fear will you get any satisfaction out of it. If I post it, you’ll resent me. If you post it, you’ll be proud.”

“I’ve never posted anything before,” she informed him.

“First time for everything.”

Her stomach was a tight knot. This was wrong, so very wrong, but that tight knot extended down to her pussy which was slowly dampening her panties.

She was somewhat humiliated when Rob discovered the blog she had created months before was named Innocent Vixen. He smiled but didn’t comment. The only reason she had ever created the blog at all was to make it easier to follow others. There was literally nothing posted as her own content.

It was with great anxiety that Victoria Selffe submitted a picture of herself, topless, under the moniker Innocent Vixen to the blog Breast is Better. There was no reaction from the blog’s operator right away. Vickie checked through all of the posted instructions and discovered it would most likely be a day before her picture would be posted and released to the world at large.

“You can put it on your blog right now,” Rob pointed out.

“I’m good with this. Besides, I have no followers. No one will see it.”

“I’ll make a blog and follow you.”

“No. You won’t.”

And that settled the matter.

 

Posing in front of Jason actually relaxed Brenda, much to her surprise. He had never taken nude photos of her before, even ones as tame as these, sot it was something new for the both of them. In preparation Brenda had gone all out, using her leftover skills from working backstage in high school drama club to layer on the makeup to the extent that she barely recognized herself in the mirror. It wasn’t tawdry, but the end result was that she looked as if she had just walked off stage from some local theater production. By adding a pink wig leftover from some long forgotten Halloween party, her appearance was effectively disguised.

Jason had gone so far as to lower the temperature in the apartment so that when he took the pictures her nipples were fully erect. In the end that step wasn’t entirely necessary, with her small areola and light pink nipples the slight increase in size wasn’t as much as a visual thrill for Jason as he had hoped.

It took them an hour to go through all the photos. They knew they had to pick just one because the blog’s owner specifically stated that multiple submissions would be ignored along with photosets.

“The problem is,” Jason commented as they started narrowing down the selection. “You don’t take a bad photo.”

That wasn’t entirely true. Almost half the pictures were eliminated right away because of a weird expression on Brenda’s face, blurring, or some other esthetic violation. They eventually settled on one where Brenda was in a familiar pose to them both: chin slightly raise, eyes downcast, her fingers interlaced behind her neck raising her small but pert breasts slightly upwards.

Seeing that most of the submitted content of Breast is Better came from users that were apparently women, Jason had Brenda create her own blog to submit the photo.

“Bread-N-Redd?” he asked, noting the title to her newly created blog that was the online equivalent of a shell corporation. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” she answered. “That’s the whole point.”

He shrugged. “Fine.” She was using her laptop to make the blog to post the picture. Jason pulled out his phone and fiddled with it as she worked. A chime alerted her to a message. She glanced at it and rolled her eyes.

“Really?”

“It doesn’t look good for you not to have any followers,” said Jason.

“Is there a way to block…” she squinted at the screen. “NDArgonaut? What the hell kind of name is that?”

“As in Jason and the…”

“Ha. Very overly clever.”

“And as far as I know there’s no way to block a follower.” He winked broadly at her and tweaked her nipple. As always, she was naked for him, making her breasts easily accessible. Brenda swatted his hand away and focused on her picture. The message from the website said it had been successfully submitted. Now it was a waiting game to see if Breast is Better would post it. She knew she could post it on her own, but she wanted to see what would happen.

 

 

Chapter Four

 

When she got home from work the next day Vickie was too busy—and too nervous—to check the status of her picture. It wasn’t until late into the evening after the kids were put to bed did she have time to pick up her tablet. Rob was in the other room and her legs were jiggling with anticipation and nerves.

It wasn’t a surprise to see that her photo had been posted.

Upon second viewing she was happy with the way her body looked, natural but sexy.

It was a shock to see how many likes the photo had received. Vickie let out a yelp and called to her husband.

Rob wandered in while brushing his teeth. Vickie found she was incapable of speech and simply turned her tablet around to show him.

“Nice tits,” he commented.

She made a noise and tapped on the screen that indicated the number of people who had appreciated her show. That was enough to make him raise his eyebrows, rush back to the bathroom to spit, and return with praise. “And you thought that no one would like your tits. How do you feel now?”

She didn’t know how to answer the question. It was a mix of many emotions. “Proud,” she answered as he reached for her nightshirt, pulling it over her head so he could fondle her breasts.

“Me too,” he answered as he felt between her legs.

“But I still want them back to their old glory,” she told him as he pushed a finger into her already wet pussy.

“We’ll see what we can do.”

 

It didn’t take long for Jason to note that his girlfriend’s picture had appeared on the Breast is Better blog. She said nothing to him about it when she arrived home. They pretended like it was a normal day after work. Brenda made dinner in the nude, they ate together, and then he casually pulled out his phone to display her picture on the site.

She smiled thinly. “I know,” she said with a bit of pride in her voice. “I checked earlier at work.”

“On your computer?”

She nodded.

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

Brenda lifted up her chin. “I can be dangerous from time to time, if I want.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think my picture is getting about the same amount of likes as every other picture on that blog.”

Jason shrugged. “There’s no accounting for male taste. Some of them probably have one hand on the mouse and the other on their dick.”

“You think guys are jerking off to me?”

“Without doubt.”

“Mm-hmm,” Brenda commented absently as she scrolled through the other pictures on the blog. The new ones were nice, some were artistic, some were blatantly sexy, a few were risqué enough to give Brenda pause—outdoor shots, in front of crowds, inside an open store—but one in particular caught Brenda’s eye.

She showed it to Jason.

“Nice,” he commented. “They’d be better if they were a little bigger.”

Brenda rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. “Don’t just look at her tits. This is probably her bedroom. Look at the background.”

Jason’s eyes roved along the wall in the picture. “She’s a local girl.”

Brenda nodded. A poster on the wall behind Innocent Vixen was the familiar night sky of the capital city. “I don’t think she intended to show where she lives.”

“Maybe she’s from the area but moved away and kept it to remember where she’s from.”

“Maybe.”

“You’re spending a lot of time staring at her,” Jason remarked.

“So?”

“So…I think you like her tits.”

Brenda smiled slightly. “Maybe I’m just thinking what it’ll be like to watch you whip her.”

“Would you like that?” Jason asked, intrigued.

With a lick of her lips Brenda answered, “I’d like to watch.”

“Get against the wall,” Jason ordered her as he reached for the dresser. “I’m going to give you a taste of what she’s going to get.”

Brenda practically jumped up at his order. She could already feel the sting of the lash on her nipples. It was so wrong to anticipate that and want it. She smiled at him as he wrapped the lash once around his hand. She put her hands behind her head, lifted up her elbows, and arched her back slightly to offer her breasts to his cruel attention.

When the first sting landed Brenda wasn’t thinking about how good it felt on her body. She wondered how it would feel to Innocent Vixen.

 

 

Chapter Five

 

Vickie was alarmed when she looked at her blog and saw that she had a message waiting. She took a second look and realized that she had two followers now. One was obviously Robert. “DirtyBert” was a stupid name. The other follower was Bread-N-Redd, who was also the person who had sent her the message.

With trembling fingers she managed to click on the message icon to read what Bread-N-Redd had sent.

Your breasts are lovely. I like the confidence you exude in your photo. I couldn’t help but notice the framed picture behind you. Do you live in the Capital District?

Brenda’s heart pounded so hard she was certain it would slam through her ribcage and fall on the floor. She glanced at the large framed photo of Albany’s skyline that hung near the bed. It was half a joke from her mother. She and Robert lived so far out in the woods they couldn’t see anything but trees and mountains from their house, but they both worked in the city so they needed to be reminded of that, or so Mom had said.

Just from the poster in the background a complete stranger had figured out where she lived. Not exactly where she lived, but close enough.

The first instinct that bubbled