A Silly Little Romance

As usual, the slender woman tore into our classroom in a swirl of dark hair. After racing across town from her job, the pretty brunette always arrived second. Since I worked on base, my commute to the education center, host of our evening graduate classes, was a grand total of two blocks, and even on a night like that, foul Midwestern weather blustery and threatening, I occupied my normal front-row seat.

“Hey, Brittany,” I said, pausing my tenth stab at comprehending a dense business finance chapter for a quick scan of her.

After yanking the jacket of a shiny charcoal suit from her shoulders, she flopped into the chair beside me and huffed, tugging out her tablet. Despite everything about her screaming high-speed businesswoman, a hot-pink leather case wrapped the device. Yep, that was Brittany. In her mid-thirties, she possessed an understated but noticeable allure snug in a tight veneer of propriety.

Blessed with remarkable, iridescent purple eyes and a model-like visage, she hid slight, but impressive, curves with austere work apparel. Yet, despite obvious exhaustion after a long day working downtown, she always managed to, I dunno, look amazing.

“How are you this fine evening, Evan?” By that time, we’d grown so accustomed to each other, I could sense her eyes on me.

“Good,” I replied, focused on the lesson.

“Cool.” Just then, the muted blasts of the tornado warning siren sounded from outside. “Uh-oh, class may be delayed.” When I looked up at her, eyebrow lifting, she chuckled. “Yeah, I know, Queen of the Obvious.”

“Um-hmm. More time to study.” Pen in hand above my notes, I returned to the book. “We’ll be fine. This building is a shelter-in-place location.”

Although we sat in silence for a while, the distinct impression of something bothering her nibbled at me, and a silent clock counted down somewhere.

Tick.

Tock.

“Know how many classes we’ve had together, Evan?”

“Um, no.” My pen scribbled, noting a key term.

“Three. One in each semester so far. In the first class, I sat right behind you.”

Okay, that was weird; usually she talked about work. After lifting the pen, I looked at her. “Huh, really?”

“Yes, really.” At the flash in her eyes, the confusion within me grew. “Know why I sit next to you?”

“Hmm, no.” I shrugged. “Funny, maybe? Sometimes I make you laugh.”

“You do.” Although a slim grin appeared, she lowered her gaze to the pink-clad tablet. “And, um,  thanks for that. It means a lot.”

Once she’d started the device, silence again stretched, bar the soft clicking of her nails on the screen; that stormy evening, they were the sparkly red she most often wore.

“Perhaps I, um, also help?” I offered.

“Help?” Her typing stopped.

“Yeah, you know when you’re stuck on something.”

“Evan”—perfect eyebrows tightening, she looked up—“any idea why I rush in here all the time?”

“Nope. You’re always the second student here.” I scanned the large classroom; most of its chairs would remain empty, evening classes being nowhere near as full as the daytime ones. “There’s plenty of seats.”

“So that I’m the one getting the spot beside you.” A quiet but lengthy sigh escaped her. “Have you really never noticed the women in here, heard what they say about you?”

“Uh, no.” 

Despite lifted eyebrows, I tried focusing on whatever words were in that chapter. However, they were bouncing off my skull and, at that point, I should’ve abandoned the effort.

“Single guy like you. What do you think?”

“Like me?”

“You pulling my leg?” An even louder breath left her, sending warm air over my arm. “God, you’re maddening, Evan. That magical mind of yours, plus you’re a stone-cold hunk. You’ve got to have heard that before?”

When I kept silent, trying to decipher her angle, again she sighed; it was quieter, yet just as forceful. To repeat, whenever we’d spoken before, the topics were office travails or classwork, maybe the latest saga involving Casey, her teenage daughter. Though Brittany wore a wedding band, she never mentioned a husband. This conversation veered so far outside our normal ones that my mind was really struggling.

“I dream of you.” 

Her tremulous voice was so low and with a loud peal of thunder shaking the building, I almost missed it. My brain required a few seconds more to decipher what she’d just professed.

“Huh?” Studying kicked to the curb, I looked at her. Mistake; those eyes were glimmering like jewels of the highest quality. “Dreams? What kind of dreams?”

“Jesus, those baby blues. Turn ‘em down, wouldya.” Although she let slip a laugh, it was shaky. “ And what kind of dreams? Sexy ones, Evan.”

“Sexy, hmm.”

There was nothing else to say, or at least more words wouldn’t form in my suddenly throbbing skull. Don’t get me wrong, she was gorgeous, but had a daughter, and, after glancing at the shiny diamonds adorning her ring, I returned to the textbook. Already challenging enough, my life required no additional hurdles.

“Never mind.” After focusing on her tablet, she fell silent and only measured, heavy breathing sounded for a while, until, with a swift smack of her lips, she glanced at me. “Sorry, this is stupid. I’m, uh, complicated, plus damaged goods, right? Single mom, like me.” Her voice dropped to a tiny whisper. “Besides, a guy like you is way out of my league.”

When one more chuckle left her, it oozed sadness. Wait a minute, single?

“Huh, weird. I’ve always thought the same about you.”

Even as the muttered words left me, my brain screeched as if the air brakes of a maneuvering fighter had slammed into place. If there was something I sucked at, it was talking to the fairer sex, let alone a stunning example like her. Oh, and not to mention discussing dreams—sexy ones. With my mind ping-ponging, hoping another student would arrive, another lengthy silence dragged onwards.

“Really, Evan?” she whispered. “Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?”

Within the textbook, none of the blurry words made any sense, pulsing in sync with my ever-louder heartbeat. What to say? And how? Well, duh, start with the truth, since the horse had fled the barn.

“Yes, really,” I replied, letting a long, heavy breath whistle through my teeth.

“How come you never said anything? Or even…. I don’t know, you never seemed interested, no matter what I did to catch your attention.” When I peeked at her wedding band, she sighed. “This?” She twirled the solid gold ring; its flashy diamonds glittered. “I wear it to keep guys away. Guess it worked too well, huh?”

As she chuckled, I remained silent, but the strange conversation had gone on long enough. Besides, she wasn’t the only one with complications. Once again, a quick scan showed no classmates, and right as I was about to comment on their absence, a louder blast of thunder had the overhead bulbs flickering. Then they went out, dumping us into inky blackness. At a quiet gasp, I found her twinkling eyes in the gloom, but loud clicking accompanied the activation of the blinding white emergency lights. The sudden glimmer of vivid purple beneath her narrowed eyebrows had my ribs tightening.

“Um, it’s alright.” Although I flashed a smile, the afterimages of those violet pools were dancing in my vision. “I’ll go check if class has been canceled.”

After closing my book, I eased my chair back, but her hand shot to my arm.

“Don’t. I mean…. Could you wait a little? Please.”

“Uh, sure. You okay?”

“No, not really. It’s taken me months to find the right time to approach you. Plus, gather the courage.” A slow sigh slipped from perfect, full lips. “If I don’t speak now, I’ll never do this again.”

When I kept silent, watching her, she shifted in her seat. After a quick glance through the doorway into the empty dark corridor, her gaze found me.

“Why are you still single, Evan?” At her question, my eyebrows shot upwards, and, cheeks gaining a deep shade of red, she gulped. “Sorry, that was way too personal a question. Fuck, I’m outta practice.” An uncharacteristic, nervous giggle escaped her. “Men like you make me all wobbly.”

“Work,” I answered, then shrugged. “And what did you do? You said you did things to, uh, get me to notice you.”

“Evan”—she held up her hand, wiggling her fingers; the glint of diamonds was even stronger in the sharp lighting—“I wear this stupid band to dissuade men.” She looked down at one of her usual gauzy tops; that night it was a pale ivory and, with uppermost buttons undone, an already wide collar offered a delightful view of an impressive set of pale swells. “Think I keep my blouses open like this at work?”

Before I could respond, she tugged at the collar, giving me a brief view of an overflowing bra’s tan lace. Pulse racing, I found her visage; both cheeks had darkened further.

“Fuck.” She released a shaky laugh. “Sorry, but after all this time, that’s the look I’d been seeking.”

“Guess I’m the one who should apologize. Uh, I had no idea.” Once more, I shrugged; that evening, I’d done more shrugging than in a long while. “My bad; I assumed you were still married. Besides, you always seem so busy, tied up with work things and your daughter.”

“But you—”

“Well, yeah.” Heat meandered my cheeks as I dipped into those glistening purple pools. “I mean, you’re beautiful.”

“God, you just made my day.” She laughed; that time it was deep, happy-sounding, and sent heat to wrap my heart. “Hell, my week, month, year. Thanks.”

“You’re, uh, welcome.”

“Jesus, I must sound pretty desperate, huh?”

To tell the truth, she did a little, but I got lost in her eyes again before dropping my gaze to the open blouse. Despite it being only a brief peek, she caught it and a smile appeared on her face, which had me grinning.

“Lonely, more like,” I said.

As the power flickered, struggling to return, I left my response at that. It was as accurate as the hint of desperation in her tone. Besides, to tell the truth, I recognized a kindred soul.

“I don’t wanna be lonely, Evan.” She sighed, glancing at the still empty hallway, and when she returned to me, her pretty, purple eyes glimmered. “Not anymore.”

“What kind of sexy dreams?”

To this day, I’ve no idea why my mind chose that second to bring up her earlier admission, but after only a brief arching of those slender eyebrows, she bit her lower lip and giggled.

“Oh, for that you’re gonna have to invite me out for coffee.”

My brain struggling with that cute giggle—she’d never been a giggler before—and as she was about to continue speaking, the power returned. A loud click and the emergency lights disappeared, replaced by the usual overhead fluorescents flickering back to life. Not more than a few seconds later, hushed voices announced the approach of our classmates.

Although, due to the storm, class was shorter, time seemed to stretch like soft taffy. At every motion Brittany made, my brain hitched. It’d been a while since I’d suffered such a weird pulse-racing effect, and the room kept devolving into a blurry haze.

As the professor took the last questions, I glanced at Brittany; those vivid pools were waiting. When I slid my phone to her, she smiled, typing in her number.

Remember those complications? Not hers, mine. Well, the next day, I was gone.

My phone wasn’t.

Upon returning two weeks later from a quick trip, consisting mostly of boredom in nondescript hotel rooms and dingy eateries, I stared at the cold device. Of course, she’d called, then texted, but after no replies from me, and with the university unwitting and unable to provide a reason for my absence, a sad-faced emoji marked the end of the conversation.

Hence why “work” was the only response I’d given her to still being single. My life was not an easy one to share, even more so after leaving active duty and entering the world of shadows.

So many around me had divorced or simply abandoned looking for a steady partner to endure such periods of utter silence in their relationships. Then again, Brittany was gorgeous and smart; she could be worth the risk. It took a healthy swig of bourbon and a slow circle of my compact living room before I collapsed to the couch and typed.

It’s me, Evan. Sorry. Coffee?

When no response arrived, I was about to toss the phone away, already thinking of how uncomfortable our next class would be. Nor did the sudden chirp do more than tighten my chest; I was about to be excoriated.

Evan! My God! Thought I’d scared you off.

“Whew,” left me amid a long, hissing breath.

You did. ;-) j/k Work stuff, not you. Not at all.

Haha. Funny man. Yes, coffee. Or dinner?

“Hmm, dinner?” I murmured into the darkness.

It had been a pain-in-the-ass mission; squirrely scientific type with far too many questions and zero common sense. So, yeah, I’d earned a little fun; besides, she sounded as lonely as me. A grin slipped onto my face; if I was gonna gamble, how far could I push?

If I get coffee for dreams, what does dinner earn me?

What do you want?

The chuckle, starting to escape me, died. First, her answer had arrived within a millisecond. Second, mind wobbling, I was speechless. Okay, we were adults, and, although playful, I’d not had much practice in a while.

Before my brain could form a reply, an image appeared, and the struggling gray matter simply locked up. While it wasn’t the same bra, one was dangling from her fist as she held an arm over her chest.

Oh, and wow, that was the first time her mischievous grin caught my attention. Fuck almighty, did my body ever react, core tightening and shaft engorging so fast I had to shove a hand down to adjust my shorts. She was—no, we both were—playing with fire, but I was laughing as I typed.

That’ll work. When? Where? Meet, or should I pick you up somewhere?

Tomorrow night? Casual? Chili’s or something? Let’s meet there. That way, you can run away. :-)

Chili’s at seven. Meet. Not gonna run.

Okay

Yep, just like that, my world changed forever.

Of course, I arrived at the busy restaurant way too early, and yet again, rain greeted me, but only a typical late fall, wind-driven spattering that ended as a misty swirl. Friday night meant the place was packed with a raucous crowd and once inside, I found a hard wooden bench amid others waiting for tables, or like me, scanning the lot for dinner partners. Every pair of headlights had my heartbeat surging; it wasn’t the braless picture, although that played a part. No, it was her eyes, now a mainstay of my dreams.

When a huge, midnight black Cadillac Escalade, its massive grill ensconced in shiny chrome, lumbered out of the gloom, I paid it no mind at first, but as it splashed past open spots to occupy every inch of the one beside my car, I gulped…then chuckled. Somehow that fit her, flashy, overpowered, yet upscale, in a solid and reliable sort of way.

“Bet it’s got a pink interior.” A louder laugh escaped me as I stood. “Or at least a pink leather steering wheel.”

Ah, but the laugh died when she slipped from the truck wearing a dark woolen jacket, short, it revealed a skirt—also short despite the chilly drizzle that had begun once more. Black, flirty material swished around toned thighs as she dashed closer, dodging puddles. She had nice legs; in class, she’d only ever worn pant suits.

No sooner had I shoved open the door than she rushed inside, flashing me a grin. Dark hair up and in—well, let’s just call it sultry—makeup, she could’ve owned the red carpet of a fancy, shmancy gala event.

“Hi, Evan.” After scanning me, she nodded. “Damn, you’re handsome.”

Only putty dockers and a long sleeve navy polo shirt adorned me; she’d said casual. When she shrugged from the coat, revealing a plum-colored top with a plunging neckline glued to her torso, the air hissing from my mouth was not quite a whistle.

“Oh, my.” Cheeks reddening, she chuckled. “Guess I chose the right ensemble, huh?”

“Um-hmm.” The pulses in my skull were a deafening drumbeat. “Wow! Um, thought you said casual?”

After leaning closer, she whispered, “Well, I’m not wearing any panties.”

When I gasped, she laughed and soft, chilly fingers gripped my arm. “Oh, you are fun. And you wish. Come on, feed me. I’ve starved myself all day to pig out in front of you.”

With her quiet chortling and heat gripping my face, we followed a black-clad hostess to a booth. Once she’d sat, I slipped onto the bench across from her, and then nothing. Between brief scans of the menu, my brain mustered words, but they vaporized at each glimpse of those violet pools, glimmering in the light of a small hanging lamp.

“Awkward,” she murmured, smiling at me.

Before I could respond, a server arrived for our drink orders. While I stuck to water, she ordered a red wine.

“Not a drinker?” she asked.

“Sometimes, but I’ve gotta drive.”

“Ah, good point. Well, I shall be one and done.” A quiet, if sad, laugh left her. “For the record, though, if you do run away early, I’m still gonna eat. So, no drinking on an empty stomach.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” My brows tightened. “I mean, I can’t see you driving away many men.”

For a while, she sat, pinning me with those eyes, but just as she was about to speak, our drinks arrived, and we selected our meals. Once the server left, she took a very long sip, still scanning me before smacking those shiny, ruby lips.

“Um, also, for the record, Evan, every time you give me that look, my entire body tingles.”

In the middle of unwrapping a straw, my fingers froze, and I looked over at her. Over the rim of the wineglass, those soul-nibbling pools glimmered, daring me to respond, so I did.

“That’s what I mean. How are you driving any man away, saying things like that?”

Instead of answering, she took a longer sip, sweeping her gaze across the room, and the cogs behind those shiny eyes were spinning. After returning to me, she sighed—it was forceful enough to send wine-tinged, minty heat across the narrow table. 

“How about…. Look, we just…. God, this is always so difficult! Let’s start with the easy stuff. I’ve been divorced for two years. Do you know how many dates I’ve had?” After a quicker drink, she shook her head; dark strands shimmered in the lighting. “No, of course you don’t. Exactly, wait for it”—she held up a single finger—“one.”

“Why? How do you… You of all people, drive men away?”

“Hmm, that’s kinda complicated, plus nobody piqued my interest.” She nursed a slower sip. “You, though, I was just…. Well, the fact you’ve never paid me any mind before.”

“So, uh, I’ve gotten your attention by not paying attention?”

“Jesus, Evan. Yes, I told you.” Shaky, her hand eased across the table, but halted shy of mine. “You’ve had my damn attention since I first saw you.”

After a long exhale that did nothing to calm my roaring pulse, I took a healthy swig of ice water; it failed to cool the heat flooding my cheeks, and with the restaurant wobbling, everything but those sparkling pools, somehow an even deeper shade of purple, blurred.

“And that’s another thing, Evan.”

“Huh?”

“You stare into my eyes.” She chuckled. “And I know you like my tits. Most men stare at my chest, not you.”

“Oh.”

Great answer, but what else could I say to that? Before my addled brain mustered anything more intelligent, our food arrived. Burger and fries for me—damn the carbs, I was splurging, and a fancy oriental grilled chicken salad for her. 

While we ate in silence, I kept…. Well, gazing into her eyes. It would be easy enough to get lost in them, but that had happened to me before. In the blurry goop sloshing in my skull, a muffled alarm sounded, and thoughts solidified. No, I’d never mention the “I” word - “intelligence,” nor its euphemistic cousins, “information gathering,” and “collection,” but it was time to add a crimp of reality into whatever was happening.

“I work for DoD, the Department of Defense,” left me in the usual monotone, the one for murdering nascent relationships. “A lot of travel; most of the time it’s short enough, like this last one, permitting classes between trips.” At an ice cube crunching in my jaw, she jolted; but damn if those eyes didn’t bore deeper into me. “Other times it’s longer, up to six months with limited or no comms, uh, communications.”

“Oh, and all super-secret, hush-hush stuff.” Although she laughed, it tapered when I nodded and, after a swift glance around, she flashed me a nervous grin. “Okay, I won’t ask for any details, but is it dangerous?”

“Depends.” I shrugged, slurping on another ice cube.

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Yes.” Damn me all to hell; a smile crept onto my face, because it was the life I’d chosen, and one in which I thrived. “It’s corny, but I’ve always served the country, active-duty army and now as a civilian. Get to visit even more interesting places.”

“Interesting?” Her eyebrows arched.

“Yeah, interesting.”

Despite stabbing at her salad with a fork, she kept staring at me, but rather than expand on my response, I finished the burger. The silence returned to being awkward.

“You can run away, if you want,” I muttered at last, trying to sound humorous.

It fell flat; her brow furrowed, crinkling her forehead. Okay, here they come, time for the usual litany of awkward non-questions, followed by my convoluted quasi-lies. As my fist tightened on the glass, rivulets of cool water slid over its fingers, but at warmth wrapping them, I glanced down to find her hand around mine.

“No, Evan. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Although a grin adorned her, it was shaky, and as she drained the last of the wine, the glass was trembling against her glossy lips. “God knows, I don’t dress like this for just anyone, and I’ll have you know, I spent way too much time doing my hair.”

“It’s beautiful. You’re gorgeous.” I sighed, matching her tremulous grin with one of my own. “I’m sorry, but it’s who I am.”

‘“You keep saying I’m gorgeous”—she bit the corner of her lower lip—“and I’m gonna invite you to my place.”

“To study?” I laughed, again trying to add some levity.

She didn’t; instead, her fingers squeezed mine as those purple lasers drilled deeper.

“I swear, Evan. You’re too…. I’m nervous. No, that’s bullshit; I’m fucking terrified.”

“Of what?”

“What might happen if I did invite you over. And, no, not to study, you goofball.”

“Won’t your daughter be, uh, curious?”

“Casey would…if she were there. Would you think ill of me if I confessed to sending her to my mother’s place for the night? Oh, Jesus, that sounds so slutty when I say that aloud.”

With all sorts of images tumbling through my mind, it failed to form a response, and my silence had her removing her hand. While nodding, she dabbed her lips with a napkin.

“Sorry, Evan. That was a bit too forward of me. Like I said, not a lot of practice.”

“Me neither. My last girlfriend was five years ago.” Unhindered at last, words staggered from my lips. “Not her fault; she couldn’t handle me disappearing with little or no warning. Even worse, she never really believed I was doing the Lord’s work. Trust issues.”

“‘The Lord’s work?’” She chuckled. “I like that, and, God knows, I can understand. Have a fair few trust issues, courtesy of my ex-hubby, Duke. Note to self: never marry anyone with a dog’s name.” A laugh escaped her, but it wasn’t joyful. Nope, bitterness dripped from the sound. “He, um, abandoned me. Didn’t handle, uh, things well. Bonus, also cheated…a lot, apparently.”

“He’s a fucking idiot,” shot from me before I could stop it.

“Thanks for that.” When she laughed, it was genuine but faded fast. “Look, there’s more to me”—she gulped, scanning the crowded restaurant—“that you need to know, but I don’t want to get into it here. As far as the travel stuff, when you disappeared, I was concerned. That’s all.”

“Thanks for the concern. Since my folks passed, it’s kinda nice to be missed, even if it’s a stranger.” As soon as the last part escaped me, my chest tightened. “Sorry, didn’t mean it quite like that.”

“That’s okay, I get it, but….” Her voice lowered and became shaky. “I don’t want to be a stranger, Evan.”

Ah, the proverbial giant metal fork in that dusty, winding road. One path leading through bright golden fields, the safe route of my normal routine: workout, eat healthy, and keep to myself. Or wander along a trail into the dark, twisted woods, ignorant of what lay beyond the gloomy tree line, surrendering my soul to the ceaseless tug of those beautiful bottomless purple wells.

“Embrace the chaos,” I muttered.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing. How about a nightcap?” I signaled the server for our check. “Maybe I’ll flee, screaming, after that.”

While I expected some kind of reaction, the abrupt silence and chill in the air as her eyes flashed had my chest tightening. Those cogs were whipping beneath that shiny dark hair but must’ve clunked into place, generating a decision, because after a slow exhale, she again released one of those cute giggles. Not only were her cheeks flushed, but the tips of her ears also glowed a rich shade of crimson.

“Sure you’re okay to drive?” I asked. 

“Oh, yes. I’m high, but not on wine.”

“Because of me?”

“Um-hmm.” While nodding, she gulped. “Fuck, I handle multi-million-dollar deals, and I’m trembling inside. Cheesy I know, but I’m so scared of messing this up.”

“You won’t.” I rose from the booth, holding out my hand for her. “Not gonna let you.”

And I believed it; so did she, letting me help with her jacket. When I took her under my arm, she snuggled tight, and only then did the alluring jasmine and wildflower perfume slither into my nose. As we walked into the chilly, humid, but rain-free air, I’m not sure whose smile was wider, or whose heart was beating faster.

Once we reached our cars, she slid from my arm, climbing into the massive truck’s driver’s seat. Nope, not a pink interior. To tell the truth, I was kinda disappointed, but then noted the seat’s stitching—yep, pink. Just as I was about to laugh, a gust caught the flirty skirt, baring most of a thigh. After noticing my raised eyebrow, a mischievous glimmer flashed in her eyes, and as my pulse quickened, her fingers lifted it a bit more.

“Fuck, I feel like a schoolgirl,” she mumbled with a chuckle. “A naughty one. For that, if nothing else, Evan, thanks.” After a quick glance at my tightening dockers—yep, it’d been a while since a woman had been that close—she rolled her lips. “And, hmm, thanks for that too, big boy. It’s nice to know I can still do that to a man.”

“What’s your address?”

“Oh, right.” While reciting it, she kept her eyes on mine. She hadn’t moved the skirt back into place, and again caught my peek while copying her address into my map app. “Very, very naughty,” she muttered in a raspier voice, hinting of desire that sent a tremor along my spine. 

“A nightcap. Then we’ll see,” I said. 

“Oh, gonna make me earn you?” She flashed that impish grin.

“Yes.”

After shoving her door closed, I moved to my car. Any idea why I’d responded that way? Nope. But her muffled giggling escaped the truck as she pulled from the space, and after a wave, she eased towards the exit, waiting for me to follow.

My face hurt from smiling as we pulled onto the road, heading for her home.

For a nightcap.

And so much more.

Smile still plastered upon my face, I trailed Brittany into an upscale neighborhood of sprawling homes on manicured lots. Nothing like the weed-strewn grunginess of my dilapidated childhood home, it was also nowhere near what my government wage would support; but it fit her. Just as I halted behind the massive SUV in a stone-lined, red-brick driveway before a sprawling two-story colonial-style house, she slid from the cab.

“Nice place,” I said, stepping from my battered, but faithful Honda Accord sedan. 

“Thank you.” She flashed me a brilliant smile, but it faded as she continued, “He’s an asshole, but Duke let me keep it for Casey. The local schools are the best. Truthfully, I was thankful; with everything else happening at the time, the thought of moving all my crap was even more stressful.”

Again, she tried for a grin, but her jaw trembled as those glimmering pools gave me a quick scan. For that matter, my core was wobbly as her house key appeared, but when she opened the front door, readying to step inside, I grabbed her elbow.

“Wait.” I turned her to me. 

Before she could react, I pressed my mouth to her supple lips. Yes, it was a preemptive strike, to either settle both our nerves, or have her send me packing. At first, her body went rigid, but at my tongue’s gentle prod, her mouth widened, emitting the cutest whimper. With her nails sliding around to claw at my back, my hands held tight to her waist, though I wanted to cup that firm rear. Time meandered as our tongues played and her frame writhed against me until I pulled from the kiss with a smile.

“There.” I smacked my lips. “No matter what else does or doesn’t happen tonight, I consider this date a victory.”

“A victory?” Her tongue made a shaky trail around her glossy mouth.

“Yes. Not gonna run, and from those moans, I’m betting you’re not either. Knowledge has been shared.”

“You’re a treat, Evan. You know that?” After a nervous laugh, she shoved open the door and stepped inside, measured clicks on shiny tile echoing across the darkened interior. “Welcome to my lair.” Even after kicking off the heels, she remained tall; she really could’ve been a model. “Uh, no shoes, please. Had it cleaned today just in case—”

“—you trapped some poor innocent guy.” I chuckled.

“Yes.” She laughed again; it was a warmer sound, heating my heart. “My feminine wiles, don’t you know?”

“Um-hmm.” Head cocked, I gave her an overly dramatic inspection. “I do know. They work.”

“You’re too sweet.” Her cheeks reddened.

“Stop being so coy.” While removing my shoes, I gestured at her. “Dressed like that, pretty sure you get plenty of stares.”

“Except I don’t dress this way very often. Last time was three years ago, for a bachelorette party. Not even for Duke.”

“Well, you should.” Shoes beside hers, I straightened.

“Quit it, I’m blushing.” Those high cheeks somehow darkened further.

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“Come on. I’ll show you around.” She gestured for me to follow her. “Behind those doors is a messy den, office, whatever. Whenever possible, I work from home.” She pointed to a long table and chairs as we walked deeper into the house. “The formal dining room. We only use it on holidays if my folks are here.”

“Nice.” It was, reminding me not of the one I’d had growing up, but those on Christmas specials.

“That’s the basement.” She gestured to a carpeted open staircase; at the bottom was a closed white door. “Playroom with couches and a big ass TV for Casey’s game console. We also watch movies down there. It’s got a small spare bedroom and my torture chamber.” She laughed, sweeping herself with a hand. “This takes a lot of sweaty maintenance.” Once beside stairs leading upward, she halted. “Um, upstairs is the master suite. It has a nice balcony overlooking the backyard. And, uh, Casey’s room. Plus, two more bedrooms; one’s empty for storage, the other’s ready for guests.”

When her stockinged foot landed on the first step, I gripped her elbow. “No. Stop. If I follow you up there, we both realize I’m not coming down until morning.” Although I laughed, the widening of her eyes had my pulse staggering. Alright, she hadn’t realized; perhaps my cart was well before her horses. Then again, despite her abrupt trembling, the foot remained on the stairs. “Or given those, uh, feminine wiles, Monday.”

“Oh, um, okay.” Crimson flooding her cheeks, she stepped back down. “Sorry. Good point, you bold seducer, you. Uh, how about”—she moved into a massive great room at the rear of the home—“more of the main floor tour then. Open floor plan: this place was designed for entertainment. I host work get-togethers, plus ever rarer girls’ nights.”

Expansive, the room held a massive, curved couch, numerous chairs, and rugs scattered across off-white tile. A set of tall, glass doors lined the rear of the space.

“Kitchen’s over there.” She pointed beyond a small, well-used round table. “It’s got all kinds of fancy stuff. Duke couldn’t cook for shit but loved his damn gadgets. Um, your choice, seducer man…booze?” She gestured to a mirror-backed wooden bar on the far wall before nodding to an enormous chrome espresso maker in the kitchen. “Or coffee.”

“Why not both?”

“Huh?”

“A wee bit o’ Irish whiskey to warm our bones on this chilly night,” I proclaimed in a horrid Irish accent, borderline comedic leprechaun.

“Oh.” She chuckled, which was kind. However, from those dark cheeks, she was feeling the same heat as me and knew the temperature excuse was weak. “Um, not sure I have any.”

“Got any bourbon?”

“Yes. Now that I keep around for, uh, you know—”

“—medicinal purposes.”

“Exactly.” She laughed. “Check underneath. I’ll get this beast working.”

As she worked the shiny coffee behemoth, I moved to the bar. It was very well-stocked, and after a little rummaging, a half-full bottle of Maker’s Mark had me smiling as I lifted it from a shelf. 

“Perfect,” I declared.

With a grin, she looked up when the espresso machine roared to life, beginning to make its magic. Bottle in hand, I glanced through the glass doors. A slow sigh left me at the view of a large rectangular pool covered for the season, and a hot tub sending wispy steam into the night air.

“Wow, do I ever miss soaking,” I murmured, as she filled two mugs. “The one at my apartment complex has been down for maintenance, uh, broken, for the better part of three months.”

“Well, you’re more than welcome to come over.” Then, chewing her lower lip, she coughed. “Hmm, better not. Um, Casey and I chillax at the end of the day. She’s been good with boys, but I don’t want you corrupting her teenage mind. Besides, we…skinny dip.”

As she came closer, white-knuckled hands gripping the coffee, she was no longer quivering. No, she was full-on shaking.

“What’s the matter?” I said, reaching for a mug.

Instead of letting me take it, she thumped both down on the bar and took a step away. Her chest was heaving.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered, eyes flooding with tears. “I can’t do this. Not to you, Evan.”

“Do what?” My head tilted. “You okay?” 

Duh, stupid question; of course, she wasn’t, but when I reached for her, she shuffled backward several more steps. Breaths fleeing her like those of a gorgeous machine gun, she stared out at the darkened backyard.

“No, not okay. Shouldn’t have done this. Sorry, Evan.” She gulped. “You should leave.”

“Leave? What happened? Did I—”

“Nuh-uh.” The tears broke free, tumbling down her cheeks. “Not you. It’s me. It’s always been me.” She added in a shaky whisper, “Fuck, I should’ve just told you up front.”

“About?”

When at last she left the view to find me, her visage was contorted, as if intense pain was gripping her. Lower lip trembling and with more silvery trails zipping down a red-cheeked face, she continued to shake. Again, I lifted my hands towards her, but once more, she stepped away, reaching the kitchen.

“Who I am.” An abrupt hitching sob had her clasping at the countertop’s edge. “What I am.”

“Huh?”

“I was born a boy,” she whispered, and when my gaze shot to her chest, she nodded. “Mostly me. Started hormones, uh, late. Had top surgery, um, as soon as I could afford it. Never had much of an Adam’s apple, but got it shaved as well.” When I scanned lower, she gulped, and her voice became tinier. “Yes, that’s…. I didn’t want bottom surgery.” When, eyebrows arching, I found her face, those perfect lips were shaking. “It’s…. I wear a solid sheath or else”—the crimson on her cheeks deepened—“you’d have noticed when we kissed.”

“Um,” is all I could muster.

Brain trying to absorb what she’d confessed, I scanned her lithe figure, then did it again. Her words made no sense. It couldn’t be true. Brittany was poised, intelligent, beautiful, and very much a “she” in every mannerism, attitude, and thought ever shared with me. At last, I met her watery eyes; more tears slipped free.

It was true.

Duh.

Yet, at no point did I turn for the exit, as those seeking eyes expected. Nope, couldn’t abandon her; perhaps I should’ve—but then again, that was more a general trepidation of becoming involved, given my career. The latter realization settled things; it was familiar.

“Well”—I took a step closer, splashing bourbon into both mugs, then, after another peek at her shaking lips and glossy eyes, I added healthy dollops. “Not gonna lie, Brittany. You sure know how to make a date interesting.”

With a shaky smile of my own, I lifted a mug and tightened my grip on the booze. Nope, I was in no rush to abandon her, but she’d just dropped a bomb, and my mind was still grappling with—everything. After a lengthy exhale to slow my pulse, I turned from her, heading to the couch. Despite my sitting, she remained motionless, staring at me.

With the bottle on a shiny glass coffee table, an awkward silence stretched as I reclined sipping the tasty “enhanced” expresso. When a few tentative steps brought her back to the bar, she lifted the other mug and smacked her lips.

“You’re, uh, not leaving?” she asked in a low, shaky voice.

“Queen of the Obvious,” I replied with a chuckle.

That at least got a quick grin to appear on her red face, but with every step closer, she trembled more, until at last, she slipped sideways onto the couch. Long legs curled beneath her, she stared at me through the steam, rising from the mug in both shaking hands.

“Hmm, I’m not gay, Brittany. Does that even….” After taking a slow sip, I let the heated booze and caffeine slip down my throat. Heart pounding and under those stunning lasers, words were difficult. “I mean, no clue about…. I’ve only ever dated women, females, uh, girls. Oof, I’m unsure what to say. Don’t want to insult or hurt you.”

“God, you make this….” She inhaled; it grew tremulous as a vibration shook her. “I’d hoped, Evan. I really did. You seemed worth the gamble, and I….” For a second, her gaze shifted to the outside. Once more the weather had turned, drizzle becoming a heavy rain, splatting across the rear deck’s glossy stones. When she returned to me, she nodded to herself. “I’m sorry, I—”

“Don’t be. I’ve no idea what’s going to hap—”

“Before you say more, let me…. No secrets. I’ve been down this path, and…. Well, you should hear everything right up front.”

“You don’t have—”

“I do, Evan. Please, believe me. Um, I think…. You’re worth it, and I’m willing to take the risk….”

“Okay.” I sipped. “Not like I’m gonna blab.”

“I know. That’s what I mean.” A tiny grin appeared. She really did have such pretty lips. “You don’t seem the type. God knows, I’ve met those sorts before.”

“Alright, I’m all ears.” I flashed the best smile I could muster, reclining further into the soft cushions. “Tell me the Brittany saga.”

She did not return the smile. Indeed, after a long gulp of coffee, her eyes drifted to the rain-spattered glass again.

“I, um, always liked girly things. My older sister’s dolls. Played dress up in her and mom’s clothes. It just felt right.” Amid wisps of steam, those shiny purple pools peeked at me over the mug’s rim. “When I came out to my parents, my mom only nodded; she’d noticed her stuff had been moved. Dad, though—he freaked. His little boy wasn’t… Well, what he wanted. Tensions became arguments. I was young, and they were shocked, until eventually Mom took his side, and I ran away.

View once more on the rain-spattered glass, she sniffled for a while. Part of me sought to reach for her, but something said to stay motionless; she would continue in her own time. While waiting, my mind continued to struggle, equating what she had revealed with the sexy woman before me. Nope, it wasn’t easy.

“That was both stupid beyond belief and incredible.” At her whisper, I jumped but found her vivid eyes reflected in the dark glass. “Sucked into an artsy, queer, drug-fueled world, I did some crazy shit. You know, trying to figure things out, but I also met my first love, Allison.”

She stared pointedly at me, gauging my reaction. Somehow, her first partner being a woman made sense, so I kept still, and as she took a slow sip, her shoulders relaxed.

“Ally was amazing—beautiful, edgy, and driven. We decided to leave that community, make our own way against the world. She got an entry job with a large corporation. On the other side of the #metoo movement, she’d no qualms giving a few blowjobs to get ahead; bonuses and promotions soon arrived. I mean, she’d earned them; gotta use those feminine wiles.”

At my eyebrow raising, she sighed, but her eyes twinkled for the first time.

“Yeah, she was like me. We, uh, swing both ways.” A quiet chuckle escaped her. “All ways. Anyway, I too was busy; after getting a GED, I attended community college and waited tables at a local bar. It was a great life. With money, if not pouring in, at least a steady flow, we decided to adopt. Enter Casey.”

At first, she flashed me the grin of a proud parent, but when, face clouding, she fell silent, my chest tightened.

“What happened?” I said, again wanting to reach for her but hesitating.

“Turned out Ally hadn’t left the old world. She OD’ed. It was bad. She never told me why she’d gotten back into the hard stuff. I’d only ever done weed and party drugs. You know, Molly, coke, that kinda thing. Got roofied once or twice. Not fun. Anyhow, she promised to stay clean, but didn’t. The second OD took her away for good.”

“I’m so sorry, Brittany.”

“Thanks. I was lost for a long time, but I worked hard, graduated, and got Casey into excellent schools. She became my light. At last, I started dating again, guys mainly, but, uh, I was always nervous about telling them…. You know, about me. Flip side, duh, holding back also didn’t work out well. Some