Sis On Vacation

Sis on Vacation

I lay on my bed, staring at the letter. “We regret to inform you that we will not be moving forward with your application for our Junior Design Residency at this time. We received an unprecedented number of portfolios this year…” This was the fourth time today I’d read over it, but I couldn’t let it go. I was obsessing over the wording. “Please feel free to reapply during our next recruitment cycle.” I could apply again, couldn’t I? I’d have to.

I was 23 years old and still living with my parents. I could hear their frustration when we’d be out around town and one of my mom’s tennis club friends would stop us. “Helly, you’re all grown up! What is it you’re doing these days?” My mom would try for some polite version of, “She’s finished studying and is doing some volunteering before starting her career.” She always made it sound like my decision, not that I was constantly rejected for being too awkward. It always stung more because even when the comparison wasn’t directly stated, I knew whoever we were talking to would also be thinking of my sister, Jasmine. Jaz had never failed at anything in her life. Captain of the lacrosse team, valedictorian, and already a senior associate at her firm. And beautiful. People would usually comment on one or the other, but sometimes both.

I heard Jaz’s voice downstairs. She was visiting from the city, going to some gala my mom had tickets to. Jaz’s voice became more clipped. Angry? They lowered their voices.

I padded out of my room, trying to be as silent as possible. I crept down the steps, careful to avoid the parts that creaked, until I was halfway down, where I crouched and listened through the railings.

“You can go on vacation with Olivia any other time; she’ll understand. Aren’t you going to Mexico with her in September anyway?” my mom said.

Jaz let out a frustrated groan. “But I’ve already invited her,” I could hear Jaz’s heels clicking as she paced. “Besides, even if Olivia is cool with me uninviting her, what if I don’t want to take Helly?”

My face burned, a hot wave of shame turning into a sharp, prickly heat.

“Jaz! What an awful thing to say. She’s your little sister and she’s going through a hard time.”

“That’s not my problem,” Jaz said forcefully, then softened her voice, I guess realizing it sounded as mean as Mom was accusing her of. “It’s not… look, I love Helly, but she’s… probably not the most fun person to be at a beach resort with.”

I’d heard enough. I stood up and stomped back to my room as loudly as I could and slammed my door.

I threw myself onto my bed. My face planted into the rejection letter, and I screwed it up and threw it across the room. Jaz walked in at that moment, and it hit her square in the face.

She shrugged. “Okay, I guess I deserved that,” she said.

I scowled at her. “Go away. I’m not taking visitors.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not a visitor, then. I’m your big sister, and I’m welcome here anytime.” She laughed and sat on the edge of my bed. When I rolled my eyes, she continued. “It’s true. It’s my favorite thing about being a big sister. I can do anything I want to my nerdy little sis and she has to take it.” She moved quickly and began tickling me. It was never a fair fight when she tickled me. Jaz was much bigger than me, tall and curvy, while I was petite and struggled to reach 5 ft 3. I laughed despite myself, the anger softening a little.

I had to admit, growing up in Jaz’s shadow wasn’t