CLAIMED BY TWO PROTECTORS

AN MMM SHORT

SUZANNE A. NEWMAN

CLAIMED BY TWO PROTECTORS

The divorce took a lot out of Zack. Well, to be more specific, it took everything. His home, his joint possessions (even things that were arguably his), and worse of all, his heart. It would be hard for him to trust his love for anyone else. After all, it all seems perfect in the beginning. When you first meet someone, then slowly grow to trust them, make all kinds of memories with them, and tell them all your secrets. You give someone else everything in exchange for a bond you feel so sure at the moment would be eternal. But then it all gets ripped from you. Now those precious memories are tainted. Every time you remember the good times, watching the show you used to love together, smell the soap they used, the warm familiar feeling comes back only to now be twinged with a bitter pain. Worse yet you scold yourself for feeling anything good about someone you should now cut out of your mind. As if that’s easy or even possible; still, you blame yourself. Even after all of the loss and pain, it was good to be rid of him. After all a bad marriage is a comment to a bad life, of continual suffering and conflict. Zack knew he could rebuild, find new love, and get better over time. But for now, no matter how many times he told himself that, all he could do was hurt.

It was amazing then, despite the deep down pain he was in, that he found the strength to visit his sister’s wedding. But then again, his sister was an amazing person. She is transgender, and she had the strength to be who she was inside, every day, no matter who disagreed. No matter how the outside world taunted her as a fake or worse. She had so much strength and he loved her for that. Too much to miss her big day. He pulled up to the wedding. He sat in his car and tried to get a grip on himself before he went in. He can’t lose it right now, today is supposed to be a happy day. It’s just even the thought of marriage right now made him so sad.

Just a few more minutes. He was early, so he had time just to sit there for a while, though it felt as though there would not be enough time in the world. Finally, after an uncomfortably long time of self-contemplation, he got out of the car and headed to where the wedding was being held. The ceremony was beautiful, white lilies and doves, all of the normal accoutrements. At the reception, after congratulating his sister he made awkward small talk with the other guests. He was feeling like maybe he should go to what was his home for now, the hotel he had rented for the wedding. And just give up on other people for a while. But there was this couple that caught his eye. So he thought, ‘screw it, might as well’ and decided to chat with them before he left. Zack walked up towards them as casually as he could manage.

“I’m glad you two could make it. I’m Zack, the bride’s brother, I don’t think I’m acquainted with you two yet.” Zack said when he approached.

“Oh hey, it’s great to meet you. I’m Lucas, and this my partner, Lewis.” Lucas said gesturing to Lewis beside him.

“Hey.” Lewis said quietly.

“Don’t mind him, he’s shy around new people. But once you get to know him, he won’t stop talking.” Laughed Lucas.

They talked about common topics in the beginning, about his sister, about the wedding.

Zack was curious about how this couple met.

“How did you two meet?” Zack asked.

“At a bar.” Lucas said. Then looking over to Lewis as if to judge how comfortable he was with this topic. “He was… a bit of a mess back then.” Seeing some inkling of sadness appear on Lewis’ face he leaned towards him wrapping his arm around him and pulling him close to kiss him on the cheek. “A hot mess though.”

“I was an alcoholic.” Lewis said. “I-I was in that bar all the time. Waiting for someone to go home with that would somehow make the next day worth living in the morning. But day after day I always woke up to disappointment after disappointment. Somehow life didn’t look the same after the alcohol wore off and the warm companion I met the night before turned into the cold stranger the next day. So I always would return to the bottle. Until I met my beacon of light.” Lewis’ said gently touching Lucas’ arm. “He was the one that kept being special even after I woke up. If it wasn’t for him, I probably would have died just outside that bar someday.”