Geoffrey the Bard and the Good Knight’s Rest

 

Author’s Note

 

Yeah, we all know I wanted to title this cycle Geoffrey the Bard and the Horny Dragon but the ebook publishing world is too uptight about that sort of titling. Other titles I considered were:

 

Geoffrey the Bard and the Horny Dragon

Geoffrey the Bard and the Horned Dragon

Geoffrey the Bard and the Flaming Dragon

Geoffrey the Bard and Randi the Dragon

Geoffrey the Bard and the Libidinous Dragon

Geoffrey the Bard and Sexy the Double Entendre Dragon

Geoffrey the Bard and the Good Knight’s Fuck

 

 

 

Chapter the First

Wherein our heroes consider their new positions and how to take advantage of them

 

“Well I’m glad she mounted me,” Geoffrey said to Belledane as they made their way along the narrow path. They had just left the forest where their patron and lover’s tower was situated and were starting to make their way up the mountain path where Maeveen, the Enchantress, had directed them.

Belledane buzzed in the air on her butterfly wings next to him. She gave him a serious side eye and said, “Do you have to put it that way?”

“Of course I do! I’m a bard!”

“Not every song is about sex,” she pointed out.

“Mine are.”

It took all of the pixie’s self-control not to roll her eyes. “I know.” And then she failed in her self-control and rolled her eyes anyway. “I’m starting to wonder why I’m spending all my time with you.”

“And on that note,” said Geoffrey as he slung his lute case from off his back and opened it up.

“Please no,” said Belledane a little too loudly.

“I have the perfect song for the occasion to celebrate my new steed.”

Belledane would have plugged her ears with her fingers, but she was still fascinated by the seemingly endless variety of bawdy songs that Geoffrey had in his repertoire.

 

It's a landlady's daughter and her name was Nelly

And it's green, O green, the leaves do grow;

And she took sick with a pain in her belly

And it's ha, young man, do you tell me so?

 

It was a bold trooper rode up to the inn

He's perishing cold and wet to the skin.

 

The landlady put 'em in the bed together

To see if the one couldn't cure the t’other.

 

"Oh, what's this here, and what's it called?"

"It's my fine nag and they call him Bald.”

 

“Oh, what's this here, and what's it called?"

"It's my little well where you can water old Bald."

 

"Suppose my nag he should slip in?"

"Just catch on the grass that grows round the brim."

 

"How can you tell when he's had his fill?"

"He'll hang down his head, turn away from the well."

 

"How can you tell when your nag wants more?"

"He'll rear up his head and go pawin' 'round the door.”

 

Geoffrey grinned at Belledane as he finished. She gave him no reaction at first other than a slow shake of her head.

“I think I’ll name him Baldy,” he said, “in honor of my song.”

“You’re riding a mare,” Belledane pointed out.

“Then I’ll name her Nelly.”

“You’re naming your horse after a slutty character in your song?”

“Yes. Why not?”

“Oh, Geoffrey,” she said as she alighted on the saddle horn right in front of Geoffrey’s crotch. She couldn't help herself and stared at the generous bulge in his brightly colored pants. He wasn’t erect; not yet. She would know and she’d want to fuck him, of course she was only two feet tall and he was six, so some magic would be needed, but then again it was always magical when they fucked. In frustration, with both Geoffrey’s attitude and her sexual needs, she pushed her purple tinted locks out of her left eye and then repeated the process with the yellow hair hanging in her right eye. She knew she needed to tie it back because it was getting so long, but that was a minor consideration at the moment. 

After she didn’t say anything else the silence became too much for him. “What?” he asked.

“Sometimes you are just a clueless human.”

“Is that a compliment?” he asked.

“No.”

“Oh.”

They continued on in silence. 

“Do you want to stop for a midday meal or just to fuck?” he asked her after a minute.

“You just had sex with Maeveen this morning!” she protested, but that didn’t do anything to stem the warmth and wetness that traveled to her cunt when he asked. She was trying to get a hold of her sexual urges around humans. She couldn’t just fuck like a pixie all the time now. She was a champion of the Enchantress.

“So did you!” he reminded her. “I was there watching!”

“And participating,” she added with a knowing smile.

They caught each other’s eyes and knew what was going to happen at midday. For the moment, the memory of the morning would have to be good enough.

 

For all her reputation of being an evil enchantress, Maeveen was quite personable and polite. More importantly she was as sexy and horny as a hellcat. 

After Geoffrey and Belledane had given her the Golden Phallacy and she had rewarded them with titles of her personal champions, they spent a few pleasant days in her tower. Most of her goblin servants had run away when she had been bound to her bed after the unfortunate death of her lover and betrayal of her goblin hunter, but a few returned when they found life in the forest difficult after only a day. Geoffrey found them hideous to look at, but they made good servants, so he didn’t complain.

Maeveen had quickly moved on from the death of her lover. She was tight-lipped about the identity of the woman who had expired during their enthusiastic love making, but Geoffrey got the impression that their relationship was strictly physical and transactional. He didn’t say it out loud, but he had his suspicions that perhaps her lover was of the hired variety.

Once she had declared Geoffrey and Belledane to be her champions and lovers, it was surprisingly easy for her to seduce them. 

She focused on Geoffrey first. It wasn’t difficult for her. The three of them had a meal to celebrate her declaration and she made it more than obvious that she intended to take Geoffrey into her bed. 

He regarded the glass of wine in his hand. “Am I drunk or are you magically charming me?” he asked Maeveen.

The beautiful fair-haired woman laughed lightly. “And why would you think that?”

“Because I have an unquenchable thirst to fuck you right now,” he said aloud. “My cock is hard and I don’t have any interest in fucking Belledane.” He looked apologetically at his travel companion. She was seated on a boosted seat at the table with them, her glass and plate and cutlery almost comically large for her. “Sorry, but it’s the truth.” He clamped a hand over his mouth. “Maybe she cast a truth spell on me,” he blurted out.

Belledane’s eyes were a little glazed with alcohol. And maybe a bit of lust, but she was a pixie so her eyes were always bright with lust. “It’s okay,” she said slurring her words a little. “I want to fuck her too.” The pixie looked apologetically over at the enchantress. “Sorry,” she added and then hiccuped.

The beautiful enchantress raised her glass to both of them. “I take it as a point of professional pride that I never use magic to seduce anyone into my bed. I do it on pure charm alone.” She sipped from her glass. “That being said, I will take you to my bed, Geoffrey, because it’s been a day since I’ve had the little magic of physical pleasure.” She eyed the pixie whose head was bobbing as the alcohol she had consumed overtook her more than she had anticipated. “Don’t worry, dear girl, I’ll get to you eventually.”

Belledane nodded one last time and rested her head on the tablecloth next to her plate. In a moment she was snoring.

Maeveen circled around the table and assisted Geoffrey to his feet. “Maybe I shouldn’t have used the elf wine. Live and learn. I do believe you know where my bed is.”

What followed was an incredible experience that Geoffrey was certain he would never replicate with another lover. 

He had been with more women than he could remember. He had been with more than a few men as well. He had had two elven lovers and Belledane, his pixie companion. None of them compared to the blowjob that Maeveen gave him. 

In her bedroom her gown seemed to simply dissipate. She was comfortable in her own skin and Geoffrey felt over dressed in his simple bard’s garb. He had to undress quickly to match her. 

She was happily willing to go down on her knees in front of him and take his cock into her mouth. While some women were more than a little reluctant to put a man’s cock in their mouths, the enchantress knew that this was the essence in controlling a man. It didn’t make him dominate her; it made her in control of him. His most prized possession was in her mouth and she could do with him as she pleased.

Geoffrey was more than happy to let her do with him as she wanted. Her artistry at cock sucking was incredible. He was seated on the edge of her bed and she was bobbing her head happily away at him. What she wanted from him he could only imagine.

“I’m gonna cum,” he warned her. “You need to stop.”

She did stop. Briefly. But just to take him out of her mouth long enough to speak. “You need to cum in my mouth. I need your essence.”

That should have scared him, but it didn’t. He was already well beyond the point of trouble. “I don’t want to waste it all in your mouth.”

She smiled at him before putting his hard cock back into her mouth. “It won’t go to waste. And don’t worry, I’ll get you hard again to fuck me.”

Without further discussion she put his cock back into her mouth and began eagerly sucking.

If he had wanted to, Geoffrey could have pushed her away. On one level, he wanted her to stop, but on the more visceral level, he wanted her mouth to stay on his cock for the rest of his life.

When he came, he was certain that she was sucking his soul out of his manhood. 

It was a short, sharp eruption of a climax. Her lips remained tightly sealed around the end of his cock while her hand was busy massaging his sack, drawing out as much of his seed as possible. He would have been happy, even proud, to cum inside her and father her offspring if that’s what she wanted.

Most women he had been with didn’t like him to cum in their mouths; they complained about the taste and the humiliation.

Most whores he had been with preferred that he cum in their mouths; less mess, they told him, and no risk of pregnancy.

He opted not to compare Maeveen to a whore’s sexual preferences.

She swallowed his load with great gusto, as if he were giving her some present impossible to acquire elsewhere.

That might have been the truth.

“I...I...I didn’t mean to cum in your mouth!” he exclaimed.

She laughed at him and sipped from the wineglass on the floor next to the bed. Had she brought it along with her or had she conjured it up from someplace else with her magic? “I wanted you to cum in my mouth.”

“Why?”

Her answer to that was a laugh followed by a kiss as she stood up and crawled on top of him. His hands went to her lovely soft skin. Her mouth tasted of sour grapes and alcohol and, presumably, his cum. He didn’t mind at all.

She kept crawling up his body. Her tits wound up in his face and he sucked on each nipple as they went by. And then he found her lovely belly button with a small silver ring through it, and then he found his nose pressing into her sparse golden pubic hair.

Her cunt was pressing into his face and she had no shame about it. Geoffrey didn’t mind at all. Her cunt was scented and dripping with amrita. Plunging his tongue into her depth and licking her clit was a pleasure. His arms curled around her shapely thighs and held her in place as she settled in to enjoy what he could do.

It occurred to him that he was being auditioned. It was all well and good to return a magical erotic artifact to a powerful enchantress, but that wasn’t going to keep him in her favor or in her bed. He did everything he knew of to please her. 

He vibrated his tongue against her clit. He sucked on the little organ. He allowed his tongue to travel down to her light brown and tightly puckered back entrance, making sure it was well-oiled with his saliva before pushing his pinky finger up inside her.

The sound she made was one of satisfaction so the risk that he had taken was worth it. He pressed his luck and inserted his fore- and middle fingers up into her cunt. Sensing no complaints, he focused his energies on her clit, licking and sucking it, while massaging her interior with his fingers. 

The wizardess wasn’t there to torture him. She was there to take pleasure because she would risk almost anything for her carnal needs. 

A minute later she was cumming. Geoffrey was used to all sorts of reactions from his female lovers everything from unabashed screaming to violent trembling to uncontrollable bodily functions.

While Maeveen didn’t exactly drown him in her juices, it was a good thing that he had a strong swallowing reflex. The amount of amrita that poured from her cunt would have drowned a lesser man.

Taking pleasure in making a woman cum was one of his points of pride, but even he was surprised that his cock had reawakened so soon after cumming. Yes, her cries of passion was music to his ears, but it was amazing that he had this much lust built up after spending so much time with Belledane, a pixie of almost limitless lust.

Geoffrey was glad she came when she did because his left hand was twisted awkwardly between her legs. That was the hand he used to finger the strings on his lute. Fingering the enchantress was all well and good, but fingering his lute was his bread and butter, and his source of gold and cunt. 

The beautiful woman reached behind her body and found his hard cock. Since her climax had passed, she lifted herself up off his face and looked down at his head between her thighs. “You’ve come back to life.”

“You’ve given it to me,” he told her.

She smiled down at him. It caused the pit of his stomach to tightly contract. Maybe she was just pleased with him or maybe she was up to something more sinister. “You have no idea.”

It made him wonder if her amrita had something in it other than just her pleasure juices. 

Her hand was working on his cock and he didn’t know exactly what to do.

“Are you just playing or do you want me to fuck you?” he asked as politely as he knew how. 

She laughed at him and he was uncertain as to why she was smiling. “Let’s see what you can do with that cock,” she said as she climbed off his body and got down on her hands and knees, presenting her ass to him.

Moving off his back, he knee-walked behind her and got into position. He was almost positive that she didn’t want to be buggered, even if she had been receptive to having a finger up her ass. Moving in close he probed for her cunt opening with his cock in his hand. 

The first time with a new lover is an experiment where neither is familiar with the other. Maeveen was an impatient woman when it came to sex. She reached down between her legs and found his cock out of place. 

The moment she touched him he felt a thrill of energy and a magical spark. Maybe he was just imagining it, but it was an unusual thrill, but also one he wanted to repeat.

She guided him inside her cunt.

It was a magical slice of heaven.

Who knew that magic users were so eager to debase themselves to pleasures of the flesh?

Once he was inside her, it was then just a matter of the old usual in and out, sometimes while holding her hips, sometimes while reaching around her body to palm and pinch her tits and nipples. Maeveen panted and moaned in a fashion that was completely normal for any of the lovers that Geoffrey had had before. 

He wasn’t sure what was stranger, fucking an enchantress who desperately wanted him or fucking an enchantress while making it seem completely normal.

Maybe getting fucked like an animal was her preference. Twice her cunt tightened up on his cock and she cried out as her orgasm overtook her. He knew she wasn’t acting, not for him, he was too unimportant. If he hadn’t made her cum she would have surely turned him into a frog or a goat or worse.

“I’m gonna cum,”he told her when the point of inevitability was reached. It wasn’t much of a warning, but it was good enough considering the circumstances.

“Do it,” she encouraged him.

“On your back? Your ass?”

She twisted her head around in a manner that seemed unnatural and gave him a fierce grin. “In my cunt!”

That was all the permission he needed. If she wasn’t worried about getting a bellyful, neither was he. Whores and cheating wives were often reluctant to accept his seed where it was so desperately needed—in his opinion, at least—but if Maeveen was looking for him to father her child, he wasn’t going to argue.

Cumming in her cunt was like a warrior striding through the halls of victory after passing from this world. Maybe he was too much of poet and was ascribing too much to the moment, but he desperately wanted to fuck her for the rest of his life. 

After the moment had passed, Geoffrey found himself completely drained of all energy. This resulted in him collapsing on top of Maeveen and the subsequent weight pushing her down to the bed.

“I’m not a religious man,” he mumbled into her hair, “but if I was, I’d worship you like a goddess.”

He wouldn’t have described it as passing out, but that’s exactly what he did in her bed.

 

When Geoffrey awoke his companion was gone, but this wasn’t the first time he had woken up alone in a bed after a particularly fruitful session of sex. He was certain that it was the middle of the night. At the very least it was dark outside and he had the irresistible urge to piss. Unable to find a chamber pot in Maeveen’s bedroom, he simply went to the window, held tightly to one side of the opening in the stones, and let loose his piss into the air in a yellow waterfall to the ground.

He hoped that no one was at the base of the tower at that moment, but didn’t consider it a problem. Who would know?

The second problem he had to contend with was his clothes. He distinctly remembered pulling them off and dropping them to the floor of the bedroom right before he fucked the Enchantress. The stone floor was now spotless and clutter free. There was a warm woollen rug with a complex pattern on the floor and under the bed, but even checking under the bed revealed nothing. The Enchantress was either very fastidious in her housekeeping or one of her goblin servants and picked it up while he slept.

Or maybe Maeveen intended to keep him in her tower as her naked sex slave for the rest of his life.

Geoffrey frowned and raised his eyebrows at such a thought. He’d be happy to go along with the plan. There were worse ways to live his life.

Instead of relaxing in the bed and going back to sleep, which would have been the smart thing to do, he searched the large wooden wardrobe painted with magical symbols for something appropriate to wear.

Inside all he found were silk gown, form-fitting dresses, and shaped leather items that would have been suitable for either a gladiatorial combat or a kinky night at a red light district house. In any event, none of the articles were appropriate for him nor would they have fitted.

There wasn’t even so much as a towel to wrap around his waist like a loincloth. What he did locate on a shelf next to the door was the case to his lute. Inside his second most prized instrument, after his cock, was still in perfect condition. That was a relief. Feeling no shame he went to the door and boldly walked into the hallway naked as the day he was born, his lute covering his cock. 

To call it a hallway was a bit of a stretch. The tower wasn’t that large except at the base. A tight spiral staircase made of iron penetrated the center of the tower. There were several doors on each level. He wasn’t sure if there were some magical forces at work, but Geoffrey trusted that the structure was sound. 

More importantly he heard the unmistakable sound of passionate lovemaking. Unable to resist, and as if led by his slowly stirring cock, he followed the sound down a level in the tower and through an open doorway.