Psychology

by P. Tango

Chapter 1

Janet had always harbored a deep love for reading, immersing herself in the pages of countless books. In fact, she often dreamed of one day becoming a writer when she finally reached adulthood, crafting stories that would captivate others just as those she cherished had done for her. So, when the Junior class counselor handed her the recommended class schedule for the year, excitement bubbled within her. Discovering an "open elective" in the last period slot, her mind immediately raced with possibilities. She eagerly scoured the catalog, hunting for an extra literature class to enrich her days with more of the written word. Besides, the extra credits would bolster her college applications, a strategic bonus she couldn't overlook.

However, her enthusiasm quickly waned as she realized there were no literature classes available in that period. The disappointment was palpable, like a balloon deflating with a slow hiss. Her options were sparse and uninspiring: Religious Studies, Women’s Studies, or Psychology. None held the allure of Creative Writing, Journalism, or Advanced Composition, the subjects she yearned for. Damn , she thought, frustration simmering beneath her calm facade.

Well, she mused with a sigh, taking Psychology could be beneficial for her application forms as well. Plus, it had to be more engaging than Religious Studies, especially during the last period of the day!

Psychology 101 turned out to be surprisingly enjoyable for Janet. Each lecture introduced a slew of intriguing concepts that kept her mind buzzing long after class had ended. The teacher, Mrs. Barnett, was more than just decent; in Janet's view, she exuded a particular charm with her warm smile and engaging anecdotes. Her name, Cordelia, added an air of mystery and sophistication that Janet found fascinating. One afternoon, as the class settled into their seats, Mrs. Barnett announced the details for the term projects, a crucial component that accounted for a large chunk of the semester grade. Instead of giving students the freedom to choose their own topics, she opted for a more unpredictable method. With a click of a button, she instructed the computer to randomly assign topics to each student, ensuring the selections were emailed directly to their inboxes. The room buzzed with a mix of excitement and apprehension as students pulled out their smartphones, eagerly awaiting what fate had in store for their projects.

"Remember, everyone, these are personal research projects. This means you should delve into your work independently, without collaborating in groups. Additionally, I must strictly forbid discussing or revealing the topic you've been assigned with your fellow students. This is crucial to maintaining the integrity and originality of your individual exploration."

A chorus of agreements answered her. Mrs. Barnett smiled.

Janet glanced at her assignment, her eyes widening in disbelief as she scanned the title once more. "Incest: Nature and Ramifications." Her heart skipped a beat, and she felt a twinge of unease creeping in. The words seemed to leap off the page, bold and unyielding, as if challenging her. She sat there, momentarily stunned, the silence of the room amplifying the gravity of the subject. She looked around and could see similar expressions in her fellow students’ faces. Whatever their topics may be, she suspected they were equally stunning.

"Silence, please," Mrs. Barnett requested, her voice slicing through the room, though the class already sat in a hushed stillness. Her gaze swept over the rows of students, ensuring she held their attention. "As you can see, these are not easy topics," she continued, gesturing towards their smartphones. "They are controversial, hard-hitting, even violent in nature. For this reason, I must insist that you refrain from discussing them amongst yourselves. You will be working independently, and at the conclusion, you will submit a well-researched, well-founded paper. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here. What matters is your conclusions and the journey you take to reach them." Her tone was firm yet encouraging, emphasizing the weight of the task. "This assignment constitutes 60% of your final grade, so approach it with thoroughness and clarity. It's not about how many words or pages you can churn out; excessive padding will detract from your grade." Her eyes scanned the room once more, ensuring the gravity of the task was understood by all.

Janet stared intently at the words on the screen for a full minute, her mind grappling with the task she was expected to undertake. Slowly, a flush of heat crept up the back of her neck, filling her cheeks with a rosy hue. When the bell chimed a few minutes later, signaling the end of class, she gathered her books with deliberate care and made her way slowly to the teacher's desk.

"Mrs. Barnett,..." she began hesitantly, her voice barely above a whisper. She fumbled for the right words, unsure of how to articulate her confusion. "What am I supposed to do with a topic like this?" She extended the smartphone with a tentative hand. "I mean,... well,... what do I do with it?"

Cordelia glanced over at Janet’s screen, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Ah! You got one of the hot ones, I see!" she said, leaning back against her desk with an air of relaxed confidence, arms folding casually across her chest. "This is a good opportunity to learn about academic objectivity, Janet. Or do you really think you couldn't manage a controversial subject?"

The challenge in Mrs. Barnett's words ignited a spark within Janet. She was almost a straight-A student, and she had always prided herself on her ability to craft excellent term papers. The idea that she couldn't handle a research topic was almost laughable to her. "Just a paper, then?" she asked, her voice now steady and determined.

"Mmm,... no, I think you can manage more than just library research, don't you?" Mrs. Barnett replied, her tone encouraging yet firm. "I'll leave you to think about it a little. If you still can't think what you could do to explore a huge, meaty subject like incest, you come and see me again in a week or so, okay?"

"Okay, I guess," Janet replied, feeling as though she had backed herself into a corner. She was determined not to let Mrs. Barnett think she wasn't capable of serious academic work. In fact, if she impressed her teacher with this assignment, perhaps she could secure a letter of recommendation to accompany her college applications next summer.

As it turned out, she never even thought about going back to her teacher for help. She hit the school library, and then the big public library downtown, and lugged home a heavy stack of books and a thick sheaf of photocopied articles. And she spent most of that week immersing herself in the subject of incest -- its history, its psychological and psychiatric background (some of which was hard going, even for a good reader), its sociological manifestation, and its criminal aspects.

Surprisingly, she never once considered turning to her teacher for assistance. She imagined her classmates would go to the internet and find all the resources they needed, but she knew that most sites with the type of information she needed were not free, and those who were had mostly superficial information. So instead, she ventured into the quiet sanctuary of the school library, its shelves lined with an array of knowledge waiting to be discovered. From there, she progressed to the vast expanse of the public library downtown. With determination, she hauled back to her room a formidable stack of books and a thick bundle of photocopied articles, each page a gateway to new insights. Throughout that week, she found herself deeply engrossed in the complex and unsettling subject of incest. She delved into its tangled history, explored the intricate layers of its psychological and psychiatric background—some of which proved challenging to navigate even for an adept reader—and examined its sociological manifestations alongside its grim criminal aspects.

Midway through her research, Janet stumbled upon a revelation that stopped her in her tracks. Every piece of information she had meticulously gathered from formal, academic sources seemed to drive toward a single, unwavering conclusion: Incest is wrong. The books and articles she had collected dealt with the topic in such a uniformly negative light that she began to feel uneasy about her ability to present a balanced paper. Most topics, she considered, allowed for an examination of both the pros and cons before arriving at a nuanced conclusion. Yet, in this case, there seemed to be a glaring absence of pros. All she could find was a litany of cons presented without the slightest suggestion of an alternative viewpoint. Janet began to wonder: could there be information out there, anywhere, that might support incest in any conceivable way? Were there actually perspectives or voices within the vast sea of her studies that she was overlooking, voices that she couldn't imagine actually existing?

Intrigued by this challenge, and perhaps a little frustrated by the one-sidedness of her findings, she decided to take a different approach. The heavy academic tomes and the formal articles she had been pouring over wouldn't have what she needed if she was going to find the other side of the story. She realized that to uncover the information missing from her research so far, she'd have to turn to less conventional sources. Abandoning her books for the moment, she once again embraced the vast expanse of the internet, this time with a more open-minded agenda. She knew the internet could be a wild place, filled with both treasure troves of information and utter drivel, but she was determined to navigate it with a keen eye.

The results of her new search were shocking in their immediacy. She soon discovered that the topic of incest was surprisingly prevalent online. Contrary to her expectations, it spanned a wide array of content, from explicit adult films to literary works, graphic comics, and pop psychology articles that treated the subject with unexpected casualness. There were discussion boards filled with people sharing personal stories and interpretations of taboo love, as if incest were a viable alternative lifestyle rather than the forbidden tragedy she had thus far read about. She was amazed at how many voices seemed to insist not only on the existence of pros, but also to offer passionate arguments in favor of them, no matter how outrageous those arguments seemed to her.

One thing became very clear to Janet: most of what she was finding was fantasy, constructs of imagination rather than factual reflections of reality. These sites and the perspectives they presented were like the opposite of her library research—a different kind of imbalance. They were sensational, provocative, and driven more by emotion and desire than by any rigorous, academic reflection. She needed something deeper, something more substantial and credible for her paper, and she wasn't sure that anything she found in these digital spaces could contribute meaningfully to her assignment.

One day, she unexpectedly stumbled upon a Discord group focused on the topic of incest. Curiosity piqued, she signed in under a pseudonym and began to explore the content laid out before her. To her shock, she discovered a veritable treasure trove of information, a vast repository filled with advice, extensive research, and even intimate personal testimonies. What surprised her most was that the people in this group didn't fit the stereotype of sex-crazed monsters. Instead, they appeared to be ordinary individuals of various ages. There were mothers discussing intimate relationships with their children, siblings professing love for one another, and even a few individuals claiming to be psychologists. These self-proclaimed experts offered advice and counsel, not on how to overcome their unconventional desires, but rather on how to transform those forbidden obsessions into tangible reality.

As she was browsing through the website, a sudden pop-up window materialized on her screen, grabbing her attention. "Hi. Before continuing, please complete this form," it read in bold, insistent letters. She instinctively pressed the Esc key, hoping to dismiss the interruption, but instead, another message flashed up: "Please complete the form. Further attempts to bypass will make your IP banned from this site."

Having glimpsed the intriguing content the site promised, she hesitated to risk being barred from access. Reluctantly, she clicked on "start," resigning herself to the process. A series of questions unfurled before her, each marked with an uncompromising asterisk, signaling their mandatory nature.

Question 1: "Are you a male/female/queer?" She decisively selected Female.

Question 2: "Do you have a mother/father/sisters/brothers?" She methodically ticked the boxes, indicating her family composition—a mother and a brother. Her father had died in an accident when she was five.

Question 3: "Are you in an incestuous relationship with any of them, or planning to be in one?" Janet's eyes widened momentarily, her fingers swiftly checking the "No" box. This action triggered another pop-up window on her screen.

"Please tell us why you are interested in this site." This prompt was not a mere checkbox but a series of blank lines awaiting her input. She paused, her fingers hovering over the keyboard before typing, "I’m a student doing research for a paper on incest. I’m looking for information not in the books." The explanation seemed sparse, so she added, "I have already a lot of information on the bad effects of incest. I want to know if there is something good about it."