WHAT EVERY MOTHER SHOULD KNOW

44R

Pinski-Massel Press

To Stuart, my first born, whose first heart throb led me into the joyous complexities of motherhood.

Dedicated January, 1911.

The following articles were put into story form for the mother so as to enable her to make the truth and facts just as interesting to a child’s imagination as possible.

The idea is that the child be taught the process of reproduction and absorb such knowledge without realizing he has received any “sex” instruction.

There is scarcely any subject which is of greater importance or of greater interest to parents than this subject of teaching children the truth about life and birth.

Every parent knows that at one day their little boy or girl will have matured into the possessor of the powers of procreation, yet they fail to teach the child how to care for, or how to regard these powers they possess.

Biologically speaking, these creative powers are the most important functions of the body, but they are the only functions of the human body which are utterly ignored by both parents and teachers.

In order to perpetuate the species, nature has endowed all animals with sexual instinct, and man is the only animal who is ashamed of this instinct. Man is the only animal who voluntarily limits his offspring, though he continues in his sexual relation. Man, and man alone, is the only animal who is subject to disease directly inimical to the integrity of the organs of reproduction.

So, with this last assertion before our eyes, we parents cannot help but see that the danger signal is out. It is there and shows itself in the death list, in statistics, in the hospitals, where thousands of innocent girls and women are being operated upon. In fact, the danger signal is everywhere about us, if we could but understand what it really is.

In the public schools all over this country there is a general cry for help. Teachers are calling out for assistance to help them check the degrading and immoral atmosphere which is pervading the school rooms today. The words and language of the children (of all ages) found whispering together, the writings in the notes and on the walls of the buildings, all tend to show childrens’ thoughts. And in these actions the teacher sees the danger signal. She realizes this is the first awful step, and not knowing how to cope with these conditions, she calls for help.

The time comes to every mother when she first hears her child say: “When I get big and have a little girl I’ll, etc.”—showing that the natural average child takes it as a matter of course that at some future time he or she will have children, too. Shortly after this, questions are likely to begin, as when the parents speak of things they did, or places they went to either before marriage or early after, and the child asks:

“What did I do, father?” “Was I there, too, mother?”

Then begins the mystery. And the lies told by the parents in answer to these simple questions are shameful to hear. Father and mother smile slyly at each other and reply:

“Oh, no, dearie, you were not there.”

“Where was I, then?” the child insists.

Another sly look passes between the parents and the lies begin.

“You were in heaven,” or “among the flowers, etc.”

“How did I get HERE, then?” continues the small questioner, who is in quest of information concerning THE most important subject in the child world, the “I.”

Then of course, the reply comes that the stork or the angels, or oftimes the doctor brought him. However, any answer will do which will delude the child’s mind and keep him, as the parents say, “innocent.”

Now let us see what happens. This little child is beginning to think. He has received brand new information, something fully as wonderful and mysterious as Santa Claus, and he loves to think about it and talk about it, too.

He goes again to mother (father is not always around) and besieges her with questions, and she all in ignorance of the harm she is doing him, becomes so entangled in this mesh of lies that she becomes cross, or impatient, and stops his eager questions by sending him out to play to divert his attention to some other subject. But his attention is not long diverted before he returns to this subject, and if his walk is taken with an aunt or nurse he continues to ask questions, and to his even greater surprise, the aunt or nurse, not knowing what the parent has told him, tells him what she thinks. This will very likely be an entirely different story from that his parents told him, and so he begins to realize that there is some secrecy, which no one will explain, and he becomes determined to find out the meaning of it all.

By the time this little fellow is one year in school he knows all about who brought him from “heaven” and how the stork came, etc. He may have been most carefully reared in the little things which help to make him thoughtful and considerate of others; he may have been trained in every way to make him upright, honest and truthful, but the vile words with which this information thus received by him is clothed, the base and foul idea of love and marriage, the distorted view of the creative power which he receives, cannot help but stunt and deform his mind and leave his conception of the beauty of birth and love forever scarred.

If, on the other hand, the child had been told the truth by his parents and had the reasons explained to him for not talking to other children on this subject; if he had had impressed on him what a trust was his and how beautiful a gift to take care of, he would have been satisfied and his curiosity would have ceased.

There are excellent parents who pride themselves and boast of never promising their child anything from a toy to a spanking without keeping the promise, but who find themselves most embarrassed and confused when it comes to speaking about the facts of birth.

This attitude of mind comes from several reasons. One is that there are parents, good, faithful and loving, who do not know the dangers and results of street instruction, who think they are keeping the child “pure and innocent” and prefer to give the child the impression of “spiritual” birth, as implied in the answer “The angels brought you from heaven.”

Again, there are parents who know the value of home instruction, but know not how to tell them, and it is for these mothers that the following articles are written.

The best method is to begin to teach the little child when it is very young. At 4 years of age the first lessons of the flowers could be begun. Keep it up. Then a little later, say six months, teach about the fish or frogs. Then the next year the life of the birds should be taught, and by the sixth year the child will be ready for the mammals and humans. In case he asks questions before he has learned of the mammals, refer him back to the flowers and you will find an answer.

Most children are safe from being polluted in thought after the study of the flowers, but as the child’s mind keeps growing and developing, his questions in order to be answered truthfully demand that he be taught the higher stages of development.

Mothers, keep in mind, the beauty and wonder of it all, and as you proceed in the study of the mechanism of the reproductive organs of human beings you cannot but impress upon the child the beauty and wonder of love. Help the child to realize the sacred trust of his organs, the danger in misusing them. Help him to realize the physical and moral development which awaits him in parenthood, but above all keep him close to you in confidence through the truth.

My object is to help all mothers who wish to give their children the right conception of the beautiful truths of reproduction, and we shall begin our first lessons “The Flowers—Mr. and Mrs. Buttercup, their home and their family.”

Little 5-year-old Bobby sat playing in the sand pile one lovely afternoon in May, and, judging by the glimpses his mother had of him through the open door of their cottage, his mind was to all appearances intent on making a sand fish perfect. For in and out the damp sand was thrown from the pile to the fish mold many times, until at last being perfect, at least to his satisfaction, he got up and ran to find his mother, who was busy within the small two-room shack where they were living for the summer.

He caught hold of her apron to attract her attention, and said: “Mother, where did I come from?”

Needless to say, his mother was greatly surprised at this question, just at that time, for she had not the faintest idea that his thoughts were on anything but the perfection of that sand fish. However, she quickly recovered from her surprise and taking his little face between her hands, said:

“Bobby, dear, that is the most wonderful secret in all the world, and if you are quite sure you can keep this secret and only talk about it to father and mother, I’ll tell you all about it.”

The curly head bobbed up and down in answer to this and as his eyes grew big and bright, he answered:

“Do tell me the secret mother, I’ll never tell.”

Then she said: “Let me ask you a question, dear. Do you know where the baby flowers come from? Or the baby birds or chickens or all the baby creatures in the world?”

“No, no,” he answered simply, but excitedly.

Then she told him that as soon as the dishes were put away, she would take him for a walk in the woods where the baby flowers come from, where the mother kept them when they were baby seeds and also tell him how the father and mother flower gave life to the little baby seeds, which afterward grew into the lovely flowers we see all about us. She would show him that he was once a little seed like the flower seed and kept in a soft little nest in the same way.

Bobby’s mother now regretted that she had not begun earlier to tell this story of the flower to Bobby. For she realized that had she done this then, now when he had reached the stage of development where he was curious about his own being, she could at once have taken up the story of his own creation, and, of course, referred back to the story of the creation of the lower species. This would have simplified matters greatly. However, she decided it could never be too late and the easiest and quickest way even now, was to begin with the flowers.

It now occurred to Bobby’s mother that to teach her child alone the truths of Nature would be a most fruitless task; for in playing with his companions, they would undo all her work unless they, too, were taught the truths, and in the same way.

She consequently set about gathering in the children of the neighborhood with whom Bobby played. She explained to the mothers what she was about to do. Most of them strongly objected to their boys learning these things which they considered of interest only to grown-ups. But five of the mothers consented, and seemed delighted to have their children taught the truths in this most beautiful and interesting manner.

Accordingly, she took five little children, together with her own, ranging in ages from five to six and one-half years, and started in the woods to hunt for the common wild flowers. Soon they were scrambling over boulders and fallen trees in search of mountain pinks, violets, buttercups, anemones, etc., calling and shouting to each other at each new find, their faces bright and happy with the glow of health. It was a picture never to be forgotten; and as they gathered around Bobby’s mother, who was seated on a moss covered, fallen tree, they received their first lesson.

As the buttercup was a little early—those on this particular outing being the first ones found of the season—they naturally made it the most popular flower; and so it became logically the first family to be studied.

They were told that the whole buttercup, as they held it, was the Buttercup House, whose color was yellow, and that inside the house, within the petals, was the Buttercup Family.

“Is there a father?” asked one; “and a mother?” asked another.

“Yes, indeed; there must be a father and mother if there are to be any seeds,” was the reply.