Can I Be Serious?

(Freya’s Deep-Thinking Side)

by Freya Gersemi

© Copyright 2025 Freya Gersemi. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permission requests, contact freyagersemi@gmail.com.

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Book Cover Design by ahorsewithnoname.

I would seriously like to thank:

AlexFourways for always cheering me on and encouraging my work.

Figjamkiss for spell checking, grammar checking, and all the other behind-the-scenes stuff he does to make my writing as good as it can be.

ahorsewithnoname for his fun website, for helping me publish my work, and for random inspiration.

Foreword

I take my writing very seriously even though I rarely take myself seriously. Except that sometimes I do. So, here’s a collection of my more thought-provoking work. Some are sexy, some are not, but all of them deal with some heavy themes and deep ideas. I’m, of course, proud of them all and I think they represent some of my best writing.

I have a foreword for each one because I think you’ll enjoy a little backstory on them (and some of the backgrounds are pretty interesting).

So, dig in and let me know what you all think of my more serious side.

Thank you!!

Chapter 1 - “Faith”

Foreword: This is Part 1 of my “Faith, Hope, and Love” trilogy. I wanted to see if I could write a trio of short stories in exactly 1,000 words. This first part was going to be entirely composed of dialogue, but that started to fall apart when I realized that I really needed some settings and stuff like that and having it all in dialogue would start to sound contrived. Like I was purposefully making this story entirely out of dialogue. Basically, I wanted to try to do something until I realized that it was starting to sound like I was trying to do something! Oh, well.

---

“Hey,” she said.

“Oh! You startled me. I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

“Sorry. Mind if I join you?”

“I guess not. Have a seat.”

“This is a great view.”

“Yeah. You can see the whole city from up here.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Sometimes.”

“My name is Vera.”

“Finn.” He gave her a small nod.

“That’s an unusual name.”

“I was named after my grandfather. It’s an Irish name.”

“Oh.”

“It means blessed or something.”

“Well, that’s nice.”

“I don’t feel blessed.”

“Sometimes I don’t either.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

They both stared out over the city for a few minutes, then Vera asked, “Do you come up here a lot?”

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes you come up here a lot?”

He silently chuckled. “Sometimes I come up here.” Then added, “Not a lot. When I need to think.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“I don’t know.”

“Um-hmm.”

“Yeah.”

“You climbed all the way up here because you needed to think.”

Finn said nothing.

“And you’re telling me that you don’t know what you were thinking about?”

He stared out at the horizon that was just beginning to show the bland rust that would soon become the glorious burst of colors heralding a new day.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“Hmm.”

“We can just sit here and watch the sunrise.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Maybe not... But I might.”

She reached a tentative hand out and after a moment, he took it gratefully as a tear started its lonely journey down his cheek.

“My wife has cancer.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.”

They both sat, hand-in-hand.

“She’s in a coma and not expected to make it.”

“That must be very difficult for you.”

“It is.”

She waited patiently for him to continue and eventually he did.

“We’ve been married for eighteen years. I don’t know what I’ll do without her...”

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“We met in high school. High school sweethearts. She was my first and only love.”

Vera watched his face, devoid of emotion save for his tears reflecting the early morning light as he stared at the horizon.

“Now, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”

“What do you want to do?”

He thought for a moment, then turned to Vera. “I can’t live without her.”

Vera nodded not in agreement, but in understanding.

Finn looked away again. “She won’t last the week.”

Vera watched as his face slowly melted into despair.

“I can’t watch her die. I just can’t.”

After a few minutes, Vera asked, “Do you have anyone you can talk to about this?”

“No.” He sighed. “Ana -- Anastasia, that’s her name... She’s all I have,” then amended his statement, “All I had.”

He let go of Vera’s hand and wiped his eyes. “I have no one. I have nothing, now.”

“You can talk to me.”

“But who are you? I mean, why are you up here? Where did you even come from?”

“I’m just someone that was out for an early morning walk who happened to look up and see you on the bridge.” Then Vera cautiously added, “You looked lonely.”

“Well, I guess sitting up here by myself in the darkness before dawn certainly would make someone look kind of lonely.” Vera saw him smile for the first time. She smiled back.

“She was my entire life. We never had kids. We tried, but it just never happened. So, we built our life together. Just Ana and I.” Finn squinted into the rising sun. “It was a simple life, but it was all we wanted. Just each other.”

He took a deep breath. “Then she got sick.”

Vera reached for his hand again and he took it. “How long ago did she get sick?”

“About a year ago.”

“That must have been very hard on you both.”

“Ha!” There was no humor in his short laugh. “You have no idea.”

“No. I’m sure I don’t.”

They sat for a few more minutes watching some seagulls and listening to the city awakening around them.

“Ana left her job, of course... For treatment.” Finn stated. “I quit mine to care for her. We had some savings.” He paused, then added as almost an afterthought, “It’s almost gone.”

A long time passed before he finally finished his thought. “And when Ana’s gone, I’ll have nothing.”

He looked at Vera and she could see the desperation in his hollow eyes. The despair. The loss. And it broke her heart.

“I don’t want to watch her die.”

“So, you’re up here?”

“Yes.”

“Not to think?”

Finn looked away.

“Things might get better,” Vera offered.

“How?”

“Sometimes you just have to believe.”

“Believe?” He smiled ruefully. “Believe in what? A universe that’s tearing my life apart?”

“Just believe.”

“Believe?” Finn looked at her. “But in what?” He demanded. “You came up here. If you have all the answers, then tell me what I’m supposed to believe in.”

“Belief.”

“Believe in belief?”

“Yes.”

Finn took his hand back and looked away. “You’re insane.”

Now, it was Vera’s turn to chuckle humorously. “Maybe so.” She placed a tender hand on his shoulder. “But is this what you think Ana would want?”

Finn slumped. “No.”

“Would she want you to continue?”

He looked down at his hands slowly writhing on his lap. “Yes.”

“Do you believe that?”

He looked at her and said nothing, but she could read his answer on his face.

“Do you believe that she loved you?”

Finn blinked back more tears.

“With all of her heart?”

Finn closed his eyes.

“As much as you loved her?”

Finn nodded.

“Not everything ends happily. Sometimes things just end. And sometimes things end tragically... Sometimes, we can change the endings. Sometimes not.” She paused. “But maybe we can change what happens next.”

“You don’t want to jump, do you?” She asked him.

“No. Not anymore... Not right now.”

“Then let’s climb down.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll get you some help.” She took one of his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Together.”

Chapter 2 - “Hope”

Foreword: This is Part 2 of my “Faith, Hope, and Love” 1,000-word trilogy. As with many stories, the middle is the somber and grim section where the main character tries to work out his problems, oftentimes only making them worse. Of course, me being me, I had to find the joy and the happy ending in there somewhere.

---

The incessant beeping would have driven anyone else mad, but to Finn it was comforting. It reassured him that Ana was still alive.

Alive, but to what end? The doctors had told him over and over that there was always hope, but he knew that was just lip service doctors said to assuage a dying woman’s husband.

Finn knew that the situation was hopeless.

His wife was in a coma and dying of cancer. And rather quickly at that.

And he had to come to terms with this fact.

Or not.

“Ana,” he said to his wife, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”

Sitting by her bedside, he held her limp hand in his.

“We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to have another three or four decades with each other.”

Finn started to cry.

“Now, I don’t know if we even have three or four days.”

He bowed his head as if in prayer to a God that he had lost faith in.

“What do I do now? Drift through the next forty years until I can be with you again? Just wander aimlessly through my life? I don’t want to go on without you, Ana.” Finn laid his head on the bed with his dying wife.

Sometime later, Finn was awoken by a night nurse gently shaking his shoulder. He blinked and sat up.

“You should go home and get some sleep. We’ll call if anything changes.”

“No,” Finn answered her. “I’ll just sleep in this chair.”

“Absolutely not,” was the nurse’s response. “I’ll get you a cot.”

A few minutes later a man brought in a cot, a pillow, a blanket, and a small toiletry kit for Finn. “Thank you.”

The next morning, Finn was sitting by Ana’s bed talking to her when the background beeping suddenly turned into a steady tone. As simple as that, she was gone.

Nurses rushed in, but it was too late. Ana had a DNR anyway, so there was really no point. She was never going to wake from the coma. She was never going to feel the sunshine on her face again. She was never going to love her husband ever again.